I Can't Love Her Right?
by dwgleek98
Summary: When Santana is struggling with her feelings for her best friend, she goes to the only person she thinks she can trust
1. Chapter 1

**I Can't Love Her... Right?**

**Hello I'm back for a new fanfic. I don't know how long this one will be but for sure more than 5 chapters. May I just say when I first started writing fan fiction I thought I'd never have new ideas but now I have a bunch lined up so expect more. And if you don't see more but you want more than bug me to get back to work! Anyway this is some Kurt/Santana friendship which is like the best thing ever in my mind.**

The weekend of cheerleading nationals in New Mexico was one of the weirdest in Kurt Hummel's life. As much he respected her and her decisions, Kurt really wished Mercedes had stayed on the Cheerios. Maybe then he could room with his best friend in the hotel instead of Santana Lopez.

The Friday morning at only 6:00, Coach Sue was convinced the team needed to get to Albuquerque a day before the competition so they could do some last minute practice and perfect their insane routine, Kurt and Santana had walked to the bus taking the cheerleaders to the airport in Columbus together although they hadn't acknowledge each other's existence. When they reached the bus Santana reached for the clipboard which held the sheet that said who would be sharing hotel rooms. Santana was looking down at one second and the next she was storming up to Sue's seat. When Kurt examined the sheet he found out why. Next to his name was none other than Santana Lopez. Kurt sighed and watched Santana's enraged exchange with the coach with amusement.

"You cannot possibly expect me to share a room with him," Santana was saying. She finished the sentence by pointing at Kurt who didn't mind for some reason, people had said worse.

"I can and you will," Sue said simply never ceasing filling out some paperwork in her lap.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Well who's Brittany rooming with? They'll probably just make fun of her."

Sue sighed, paused in her writing, and took off her glasses. "She's rooming with me and Becky. I trust that girl in a room without adult supervision as much as I trust that William Schuster to win regional's for that glee club. None of those two things are happening," Sue responded. Kurt snorted from his safe location about five seats away. Of course Coach Sue would add a joke about how terrible the glee club was.

"Besides we can't have you spreading your glee contaminants everywhere. You might convert another one my girl and I can only have so many double agents without Schuster getting suspicious and you and Brittany have proven to be pretty sucky in the spying department."

Sue put her glasses back on as a signal for Santana to drop it. Realization seemed to hit Kurt just then. As entertaining as this had all been, it meant one thing: he was going to have to room with Santana during Nationals. He groaned and sank into the nearest seat. He closed his eyes, hoping that by the time they got to the airport in Albuquerque whatever higher power there was, if there was one, will have done the impossible and changed Sue Sylvester's mind.

Santana hadn't spoken one word to Kurt since they'd gotten on that bus, as if he was happy with the rooming conditions, and now they were in the hotel on Friday night. They were on lockdown after 10:00 p.m. It was 8:00. The team had just gotten back from a three hour practice. Right after getting off an airplane. It wasn't that fun.

Kurt found himself staring across the room at Santana who was changed into her pajamas and brushing her long dark hair. She confused Kurt a lot. She was so rude and mean to everyone for no reason. And if her dad was a doctor why was she always talking about living in the wrong side of town. Also there was her friendship with Brittany. She was such a sweet, innocent girl so why was she best friends with the devil incarnate?

"What are you looking at Lady Face?" Santana snapped, jerking Kurt out of his thoughts only to realize he'd been staring at Santana the whole time. These were also the first words she'd spoken to him since the day before where she'd made a rude comment about his sexuality. Great.

"Just you without your uniform on. Never thought I'd see the day Santana Lopez walked around without her symbol of power."

Santana just shot the boy a smug smirk he desperately wanted to smack off her face. But he didn't hit girls, or anyone for that matter. But the jock Neanderthals were always saying he was almost a girl anyway so did it even count anymore?

"Well, I'm off to see Britt, don't wait up." She slammed the door behind her. Kurt sighed and sat down on the bed, turned on the TV, and found 'Paranormal Activity' on one of the channels. Despite some people thinking he only liked fashion reality shows, which he really did like, and stupid romantic comedies, which really do NOT like, his real kind of movies were of the horror genre. Kurt loved laughing at the horrible acting and cheesy effects. Santana came back ten minutes before lockdown. Sue was coming around and checking on everyone and putting a piece of duck tape on the crack of the door so if it was opened you could see that they snuck out if the duck tape isn't on the door anymore.

Santana looked different then when she did when she left. Not physically at all. Just the way she carried herself. She looked confused and sad. It wasn't a very good look on her.

"Are you OK?" Kurt asked after Sue left.

Santana glared at him. "I'm fine. Go back to watching your pretty pony show."

"Its 'Paranormal Activity'."

Santana raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows and smirked at him. "Wow didn't think that was very you."

Kurt bit back a comeback about how she didn't know him at all and that the only time they spoke was when she was insulting him. But he didn't for some reason. It didn't matter what she said, it was obvious she was sad and he didn't want her to snap at him. He felt like living to be older than sixteen, thank you very much.

They watched the movie together for awhile. Santana got up and Kurt assumed she was going to the  
bathroom until he felt a weight lower itself onto his bed and he turned to see Santana staring at the ugly comforter as if it held the secrets to life itself.

"Kurt, can I ask you something personal?" Santana asked, sounding nervous for the first time ever.

"Um, sure," Kurt said, wondering why she wanted to ask him something personal since she'd never asked him about anything.

"How did you know you were gay?" she asked.

Ahh, Kurt now understood. He was the only out and proud person in school so who else would she ask? But why would she want to know?

"I don't know," Kurt snorted, "How do you know you're straight."

Santana suddenly broke eyes contact and started picking at a loose thread on the comforter, seeming even more nervous.

"_No," _Kurt gasped, understanding, and for some reason, he started laughing. Hard. And he couldn't stop. Santana's eyes flashed dangerously and as soon as she'd gone, she was back to her evilness.

"Yes but if you tell anyone I'll castrate you and then you'll be a real girl just like you've always wanted."

Kurt immediately stopped laughing, but out of anger instead of fear. "Why would I want to be a girl? Sure I love my girls but really? Is it because I like fashion? Or because of my voice? I won't give you grief if you love girls but me liking boys doesn't make me any less of a man so shut the hell up!"

Santana looked shocked but then she looked down at her hands in shame. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Say what?" Kurt asked, raising one eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. The words seemed foreign on her lips which knowing her they were, "I know that you don't deserve any of the crap that people put you through. Especially from me. I guess you were just laughing at the irony. Santana Lopez, the biggest slut in school and the person who never fails to tear someone down for any reason, is a lesbian? Who would really believe that?"

Kurt nodding trying to get what she was feeling. In a way he'd never had to come out. The cruel jocks had made it very clear what they thought he was and once their word was spoken, you couldn't change anyone's mind.

"I'm sorry too," Kurt said and Santana gave him a look of disbelief, "I shouldn't have laughed. I'm guessing I'm the first person you've sort of told."

Santana nodded, looking like she was about to cry, and trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "Well do you have a crush on a girl or..." Kurt trailed off not knowing what else to say.

Santana nodded and whispered, "Brittany."

Kurt nodded. It really wasn't that farfetched. Everyone knew Brittany was bi although some thought it was because she was too stupid to know the difference between genders.

"We kissed once, back in 5th grade at one of our sleepovers because I wanted to have my first kiss so bad. One second I was saying I couldn't wait and the next she was leaning in and kissing me. I flipped out. She didn't get it and said that if I was so excited why didn't I just kiss anyone. I flipped out more. Accused her of ruining my life and didn't talk her. Then I kissed a guy like a week later and it was terrible. I thought back to my kiss with Britt and it was way better then my first one with a guy had been so I forgave her but I said no more. Then in eighth grade I had sex for the first time and it was good but then the guy dumped me three days later and I went to Britt. We ended up making out. They we fell into a sort of routine. If one of us, mostly me, had a bad day or someone had dumped us or we just needed to be loved we would make out. I didn't think I liked her at all but lately I've been feeling jealous every time she talked to a new guy or girl even if she would never do anything with them. When I found out the two of you made out, I swear I wanted to murder you. I didn't because Brittany said she liked you and you were really cool even if you couldn't make out anymore. So really you can thank Britt that you're even here right now."

Kurt listened to her entire story with rapt attention. He didn't even know they knew each other in fifth grade. He thought about how he'd always known how he was different but not quite knowing how until some guy had called him a very rude name in sixth grade and he had looked up what it meant. It was scarring what he had found and he was scared as to what his dad might think. He didn't worry about friends because he didn't have any. No one liked him and he'd gotten thrown in the dumpster on his first day of high school and slushied on the third. He'd hated high school and if he ever talked to his day he would beg to transfer schools. But he didn't, he didn't want to look like a disappointment.

"But I just don't know what to do. I've made it clear on several occasions that I don't want to be her girlfriend and that we're just friends-with-benefits. I don't want to look like a hypocrite," Santana said, tears streaming down her face.

"What is the biggest reason you don't want to be with Brittany," Kurt asked.

"I don't want her to say no. We are the two biggest sluts in school and we don't believe in relationships. I also don't want people to say things."

"You don't want to be with probably the sweetest person alive because of your stupid reputation?" Kurt asked, sounding judgmental.

"Not like that! I'm not that self-centered. I'm scared of how people will treat her and I've seen how you've been treated. I don't want to be like you!" Santana shouted. "No offence," she added.

Kurt shrugged. "None taken," he replied. He meant it too. He knew she wasn't trying to insult him and if he was a closet case he wouldn't want to end up like himself either.

"Do you think it's just a crush or something... more?"

Santana closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. "I think I might be in love with her."

Kurt had been taking a drink from his water bottle when Santana said these words causing him to spit it out all over the floor. Santana leapt away from him as best she could, a look of disgust on her face.

Kurt choked and coughed, trying his best to take in deep breathes. "_What?!_" he said, "You LOVE her?"

The Latina nodded after a moment of hesitation that Kurt seemed to notice. "I'm not sure. It's like everything's the same but so, so different. So I don't know if I'm love. That sounds stupid doesn't it?"

"Not at all," he said, "You've probably already noticed but I had a crush on Finn."

Santana snorted and Kurt shot her glare. "Thank you for interjecting! Anyway I've gotten over it. I realized when I set up our parents that my dad's happiness was more important than mine and I realized I never loved him anyway. He was just the first guy to treat me like I didn't have a disease and because of that I thought we could be together."

"How will I know how I feel?" Santana asked.

"I don't know but I'll help you figure it out."

Santana gave him a look of pure gratitude. Kurt glanced at the clock and found that it was nearly one in the morning.

"We should go to bed," Kurt said.

He motioned for Santana to go back to her own bed. "Um, Kurt, could I maybe just sleep here with you?"

Kurt nodded. It was as he closing his eyes a few minutes later that he realized Santana had called him by his real name. Without some other derogatory name after it. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**I hope you liked that. Expect more chapters soon. Reviews are Love. (^_^)**

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I'm so sorry! It feels like forever since I've updated anything even though it's only been about four days. Anyway, I've decided to update this fic first but if you follow Welcome to My Silly Life, there will be a new chapter before the day is done. I hope you enjoy this.**

**Chapter 2**

Early the next morning, Kurt awoke to a pillow slammed into his face by Santana. He opened his eyes and saw her, already in her Cheerios uniform, a pillow in her hands and a wide grin on her face. He sat up and saw Brittany sitting on Santana's bed.

"Hey Kurt," she said in her confused little voice, "Sue came around to wake us up like twenty minutes ago."

She looked at his hair which was sticking up in all directions. "You look like Frankenstein."

Kurt sighed and got up slowly. Brittany was jabbering away to Santana, who seemed bored but pretended to be listening, and when she caught Kurt's eye she smiled and he looked between her and Brittany, smirked, and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. She casually flicked him off and he laughed. A week ago, hell yesterday, he wouldn't have believed that they could just be like this. He didn't expect it to last though. She may not care if dating Brittany hurt her rep but being friends with Kurt would be like social suicide. He should just take what he could get. He dressed in his uniform and combed his hair to perfection. He walked out the door with the two girls on either side of him. He briefly wondered if Quinn had felt the sense of power that he did.

The team arrived at the high school that they would be performing at almost an hour later after a "healthy" breakfast of Sue's Master Cleanse. They were making their way towards the football field which they would be doing their routine on when Santana suddenly grabbed Kurt's arm and dragged him back into the school yelling something about needing to go to the bathroom to Coach Sue. They entered empty classroom.

"Care to enlighten me as to what this is about?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Look Kurt, it turns out you're pretty cool but I don't know if we should speak publicly... or where people can hear us. Please don't think it's because I don't like you or anything but I it's in both of our best interests."

Kurt agreed up until the last part. "How is it in _both_ of our best interests. It sounds like you're just helping yourself," he said.

Santana sighed and counted in a voice you'd use with a small child. "I mean, I can't help you if I'm on the bottom too. But if I defend you and crap then you can rule the school from the shadows. You can be my shadow king. We'll rule McKinley with an iron fist. What do you say?"

"Why the hell would you want to 'rule' with me?" Kurt asked.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Because, we are both fierce bitches who take nothing from no one. Really who else would rule by my side?"

Now it was Kurt's turn to roll his eyes. "I don't know," he started sarcastically, "How about Quinn? Mercedes is a diva. There are plenty of people for you to choose from."

Santana checked the time on her phone. They still had ten minutes before they had to be back for real. "OK 1. Where have you been for the last seven months? Quinn is nothing now. She's still my friend but a pretty sucky candidate for a leader. And 2, I can't rule with a girl by my side, that's like confirmed gay and this whole point is to keep me **in** the closet. I need you. I can help you with the bullying and stuff."

Kurt looked thoughtful. Santana could be helpful with the bullying situation. The whole school feared her; they'd be fools not to.

"You know what Santana Lopez, you have yourself a deal."

He held out his hand and she took it, signature smirk on her face. She checked her phone again. "We'd better get down there before Coach Sue gets pissed."

They walked down to the football field in silence. However, it was a comfortable silence unlike when they'd walked side by side to the bus only a day before.

Coach Sue yelled at them for a good ten minutes about how they could've missed the competition, even though it started in an hour and they were going in the twentieth place. (There was a team from each state.) They took the whole thing although they felt like rolling their eyes through the duration of the rant though they refrained as they both valued their spots on the team and internal organs.

Their performance went off without a hitch and Kurt basked in the glow of the spotlight. And they applause, God, it was AMAZING. As they stood in their final poses Kurt looked back and caught Santana's eye. She gave him a subtle thumbs up and wink and he grinned and winked back. They were positive they'd won. Not only had none of the previous teams even come within a mile of being better than them but they'd completely psyched out the following performers. The actual routines were too different from any others, besides the addition of vocals, but the Cheerios performed with a perfection that came from up to six straight hours of practice and Sue Sylvester's threats.

They went into the school gym where a stage had been built and there were camera crews and everything.

"Holy crap," Kurt said, "I didn't know this was going to be on TV."

"That's right lady," Sue said, "almost every local news channel in the country. I've pulled some strings so everyone can know Sue Sylvester is the best coach in the world."

Sue walked away and Santana said, "Holy crap, I just can't believe you said holy crap."

Kurt just laughed and did his best to smile directly inline of every camera they passed. Santana laughed at him and he hit her gently on the arm without turning his gaze from the cameras.

"So like we agreed," Santana said, "Nothing changes in public."

"So you continue making rude comments about my sexuality and I pretend to look hurt instead of laughing my head off at the irony," Kurt clarified.

Santana nodded. "I'm serious about helping you, I have dirt on just about every jock on the football and hockey teams and I can blackmail them if necessary."

"Thanks," Kurt said. He looked around at the now filled gym. "When does the ceremony start?"

Santana shrugged and started examining her nails. "If its anything like last year, Sue is currently backstage or something making sure the announcement people know how to say her name for when she wins. We're just lucky that they already voted or else they'd have someone else win just to piss her off."

Kurt laughed and turned to smile brightly at a camera as it passed.

"Why do you do that?" Santana asked.

"Practice," he said simply.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Of course," she huffed.

"What?" Kurt asked defensively.

Santana shrugged. "It's just that sometimes you're just like Berry. You're both so sure where you're going and the rest of find that annoying but I, and I'm sure other people too, only insult you for it because I'm jealous. I don't know where I'm going and that scares the crap out of me. And there are you two, so sure of yourselves. I only hate Berry more because she seems to think she deserves everything she gets even though in reality everything gets handed to her. Sure she gets the occasional slushy tossed in her face and me and Quinn used to post mean stuff on her My Space-"

"Rachel had a My Space?" Kurt interrupted, chuckling.

"Yes she was that much of loser now as I was saying. She gets whatever she wants and you have to fight for everything tooth and nail. Most of the world hates you or at least who you are. I don't want to seem like a downer but we both know it's the truth and that's why I'm so scared. The truth is that you inspire me every single day just by being you."

Kurt was a little teary eyed at the end of her speech, until she punched him the shoulder suddenly.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his arm.

"Let me make myself clear, I never said any of that, I'm only allowed to show feeling when it comes to Britt."

"Deal," Kurt said through gritted teeth.

The ceremony started by a guy coming onto the stage and told the following three teams to come down to the floor. "The Lincoln High School Cheerleader, the McKinley High Cheerios, and the Kennedy High Cheerleader," the guy called.

The top three teams made their way down and stood together, two in nervous bundles but one was almost bored. It would be the seventh time they won Nationals after all.

"The runner ups are... the Lincoln High School Cheerleaders!" The group screamed, jumped up and down, and ran to grab their trophy.

"And the winner is... the McKinley High Cheerios! Congratulations!" he said. The Cheerios jumped up and down, hugging each other and running up onto the stage to accept their trophy. Somewhere in the middle of all this, Santana reached over and pantsed Brittany. Kurt looked over and saw that the poor girl wasn't wearing anything under her skirt. He did his best to hold back laughter unsuccessfully. Santana was trying to get Brittany to pull her skirt back up and was whispering fiercely in her ear. Brittany finally got the message and fixed her skirt but not before earning some strange looks.

"See something you like?" Kurt whispered in Santana's ear. She hit him on the arm but she was blushing slightly. Wait. Santana was blushing? It was official, between the two of them becoming friends and her blushing; the world was coming to an end.

**Two Weeks Later:**

They stuck with what they agreed on, no communication where people could see them but "Gay Kid" soon became the most called contact on Santana's iPhone. They shared stories and Santana really did help with the bullying expect for Karofsky. She apologized but she just had no dirt on the guy. He was probably one of about four guys she hadn't slept with so she couldn't say he was bad in bed or anything. Of course she'd tried to dig something up on him but there was nothing. Filch. Nada. Eventually Kurt just made her stop looking and start concentrating on important things like "school work" and crap. All in all, things were looking up for the both of them.

**A/N Wow I made that end suddenly. I couldn't think of a good way to end this chapter. That was the last chapter of the Nationals part and now it will be mostly them going through different episodes as secret friends. Reviews are Love. (^_^)**

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! I'm so sorry but if you follow Of Dolphins, Disney, and Best Friends, I'm discontinuing it in favor of this fanfic. I'm sorry but I have zero ideas for that one. Anyway, this is a kind of sad chapter. It's also REALLY long so be ready.**

**WARNING: Mild Mercedes bashing.**

**Chapter 3:**

"I cannot believe you got a boob job." Kurt said, adding the finishing touches to the neon pink nail polish he was painting on Santana's toes.

"Yes, I know, you've been saying that forever. My translation, an hour since I showed up in this joint," the Latina replied, rolling her eyes at Kurt's stupid antics.

It was a week before their junior year at William McKinley High School started and this sleepover they were having was the first time they'd seen each other all summer. The lack of contact was due to Santana's cheerleading camp and Kurt's ever busy schedule of writing biography musicals for actors and actresses that no one had heard of, working at his dad's shop (he was really an awesome grease monkey), and shopping. It was originally for him, Brittany, Santana, and Mercedes but Mercedes was sick and Brittany had a family thing. Kurt wished the girls could've made it but he was relived and glad that he wouldn't have to deal with Brittany's 'specialness' and Santana and Mercedes constantly going at each other's throats.

Santana's 'summer surgery', as she called it, had shocked him when he first saw her and he was sure he was still in shock or else he'd be completely flipping out at the idiot in front of him for doing something so entirely _stupid_.

"What's so bad about it anyway? I look good now and every boy in school is going to want a piece of this. Except you of course," she said and he shot her a look. The Cheerio watched Kurt get out yet another color of nail polish. He was painting each nail a different color. It looked as if he was painting a rainbow on her feet.

Kurt shrugged at the question and concentrated on putting a fresh coat of paint on her big toe. "No, you looked good _before. _I may be gay but I know beauty when I see it and you were beautiful. Now you just look like any other stupid high school girl that needs to change their own bodies to feel good about themselves. I just can't believe you think that little of yourself," he said.

Santana eyes flashed dangerously and she pulled her feet away from his nail polish brush. "What now I'm not allowed to act like an average girl?"

"No, you're not," Kurt said simply.

"Why the hell not? That's not really up to you, is it?"

"You're right," the boy said, "but you're not allowed to act like you're a normal teen because that's all you'd be doing, acting. You're not a normal teen. You're better than all the other girls here, you're better than that. You're better than Lima. You're going to get out of here."

"I know that. This isn't about thinking I'm not worth anything; this is because I wanted to look hot."

Kurt sighed and gave her a sympathetic smile, the kind that she couldn't stand. She could take anger or sadness but she drew the line at sympathy. She didn't need people feeling sorry for her.

"Think about it," Kurt said, putting away the bright blue nail polish in Santana's bag, "If you weren't ashamed of yourself, you would say you got a boob job instead of talking about your 'summer surgery'." He said adding air quotes around the last two words.

Santana rolled her eyes and scoffed. "What do you want me to say? That I regret it? It's too late now and I'm not getting another surgery to fix it."

Kurt didn't respond to that, he instead got up and walked over to his desk. He opened a drawer and dug through it a little before taking out a picture and walking back to his bed. **(A/N This is totally random and I apologize, but where is Kurt's bed in his old room anyway!)**

He showed the picture to Santana. She recognized it of course. It was from nationals and it was of Santana, Brittany, and Kurt. They all had their Cheerios uniforms on and Santana was in the middle with Kurt and Brittany on either side. They all had their arms around each others' shoulders. They were all grinning from ear to ear.

"Look at this picture," Kurt said softly, "you look different but do you know how?"

Santana shrugged. She tried to only notice the lack of chest that she now had but she knew Kurt meant something else.

"I know and I think you do too. You were happy with yourself, you carried yourself differently because you weren't ashamed of anything. You hadn't done anything to change the beautiful person you were and still are," he said gently, pressing the picture into her slightly shaking hands.

Sometimes she really hated Kurt. Hated the way he knew exactly how you felt. The way he could get into your head. She didn't realize she was crying until Kurt was offering her a Kleenex.

"You're right," she said, sniffing into a Kleenex, "I don't even know why I did it. I asked my parents and I thought I'd look all cool because I begged for a boob job but they wouldn't let me. It wasn't in my plan for them to really say yes. I told them about how much better I'll look and all the benefits but looking back I think I was just persuading myself. I was just telling myself everything, trying to convince myself it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment."

She broke down completely then, sniffed and letting out broken sobs. Kurt quickly reached over and put his hands on her shoulders. "Look at me," he commanded. She looked up at him through her red and puffy eyes. "You are **not **a disappointment. Don't think that for a minute. You made a mistake, we all do. Don't be so hard on yourself. And I'm sorry, too."

Santana's eyebrows furrowed together. "What do you have to be sorry for?" she choked out.

"Don't do that with your eyebrows honey, you'll get worry lines," Kurt said, going back to fashionable, always thinking about looking good Kurt. He touched her forehead ever so slightly as if trying to smooth out the small creases. He then sighed and continued. "Well, I'm sorry you got that surgery. I'm sorry your parents let you get the surgery. I'm sorry you feel like you need to change yourself. And most of all, I'm sorry you didn't call me so I could talk you out of getting that surgery."

Santana didn't know what to say so the pair sat in silence although it wasn't awkward.

"Why is it that whenever I'm around you I end up crying?" Santana asked, showing Kurt a small smile.

"I don't know, I guess I just have that effect on people," he said and Santana laughed.

"You do realize that Sue's gonna be pissed at me. She's constantly preaching about not changing your body to please other people," Santana said.

Kurt snorted. "That's rich coming from her. Last year she told Mercedes that she had to lose ten pounds in a week or she'd get kicked off the cheerios."

Santana looked at him curiously. "Is that why she asked me and Britt how we stay so thin?" she asked.

Kurt nodded. "I treated her like she was nothing. I apologized but I still feel so guilty."

"I wouldn't," Santana said and Kurt looked at her in confusion and a bit of anger.

"Aretha is what you call a possessive friend. You're better off without her."

Kurt frowned. He shook his head and sighed. Santana had a point. Mercedes had become much closer to Quinn but if Kurt wanted to make a new friend, Mercedes would either convince him that they weren't good for him or if that didn't work, she'd chase them off herself.

"Whatever, I'm so screwed. I can kiss my Cheerios uniform goodbye," Santana said, jerking Kurt out of his thoughts.

"Let's not worry about that right now," he said quickly. He got up and put a movie in his DVD in his laptop. Music started and Santana looked at him curiously.

"_The Sound of Music_," Kurt said. "I used to watch it all the time with my mom when we were upset about anything."

Santana nodded and she tried to lose herself in Julie Andrews's singing but she was distracted by Kurt. He almost never brought her up, just the occasional comment. The one he'd made that one time that they were supposed to say 'Hello' in glee club had been rather morbid. She considered Kurt her best friend (what she had with Brittany couldn't really be classified) and yet she still knew almost nothing about him. It frustrated her. She needed to know things, not for gossip, but to feel close to a person. She'd shared her greatest secret ever with Kurt and she knew nothing in return.

She reached over and paused the movie.

"Hey," Kurt protested.

"Just listen to me for a minute and then we can go back to the movie because I actually like it a little but tell anyone and I'll cut you," Santana said and Kurt rolled his eyes, "I told you something big. Something that I couldn't begin to tell anyone else. And yet, I don't know anything about you. I don't care about equal sharing of personal information or whatever but I care about feeling connected with you. And I feel like we have a one way connection or something. I feel connected to you because you know things about me and the way I've shared information with someone I trust, I feel safer now. And I know what it's like to keep someone else's secrets. It's hard, yes, but you feel connected to that person. I want to be able to the same way with one of your secrets."

She cut off awkwardly. This whole rant head been off the top of her head and now she didn't know what to say. "So could I like... know one of secrets?"

She felt like slapping herself. Never had she sounded so stupid and childish. She sounded like a twelve-year-old at one of those stupid middle school sleepovers.

Kurt blinked not knowing where any of that had come from. But oh my God Santana had a soul! It was obvious from the beginning but the way she talked about connections and stuff, it was like she was an actual human being with feelings. That had nothing to do with sex! This whole friendship was getting weirder and weirder. He wondered if Miss Pillsbury had any pamphlets for this. That woman had a pamphlet for everything, even for things teenagers would never, and should never, have to worry about.

He sighed then because he got where Santana was coming from. He thought about it for a second but he knew there was only one secret he could tell.

"Fine, I'll tell you a secret. Something I've never told anyone, not even my dad," he said. Santana was startled at that. She knew how close he was to his dad. Even if things hadn't always been that way, they told each other everything now.

"Kurt, you don't-" she started.

"Yes, I do," he interrupted. "Let's start with one thing, I never meant to any of this from my dad. I'll explain how that makes any sense in a minute. I'm going to tell you the way my mom died."

Santana simply nodded, not knowing what else to do or say. Her heart was beating faster and she was having trouble breathing. Didn't she want to know this?

"It was a car wreck," he started. "I'll never forget that day. I'd just eight and my mom and I were on our way back from the zoo. It was really late and but I was still awake. I'd said that I'd stay up the whole time to keep my mom awake so I got a ton of sugary snacks at the zoo and I was super hyper. We were singing along to songs from the radio and my mom was looking over all me for a second. That was all it took, a few seconds. It was just a few seconds but we were going through an intersection when I saw headlights and then there was just... nothing. The last thing I remember is my mom's scared eyes."

Kurt was crying and Santana was struggling not to.

"The other driver was on his phone. He was looking around on the ground, trying to find it because it was ringing. He ran a red light and we didn't have one. I forgot what happened when I woke up in the hospital that's why my dad doesn't know what happened. The other driver was badly hurt but recovered so he told my dad what happened. But my dad will never know my side of the story, he'll never know that we were both singing to the radio or we'd made a run for Dairy Queen and I was still eating my ice cream cone. He'll never know that the strongest memory I still have of her is her eyes right as we were crashing, she'd never looked so scared. The doctors tried to get me to remember the accident, I don't know why, but my dad told them to leave me alone. I remembered about three days later when I had a nightmare about it. The memories were just there when I woke up screaming. I think I would've had nightmares earlier but they had me on this really strong pain meds that wouldn't let me have dreams or nightmares. They made me feel weird and detached so I stopped taking them but then I had that nightmare and I was really sore so I started taking them again."

He was hugging his knees and rocking back and forth ever so slightly. He didn't seem aware he was doing that. Santana was rubbing small circles into his back, trying anything to comfort him. She was amazed he could keep his voice so calm and even.

"I was OK by the way. Just a bad concussion. The airbag probably would've killed me but my mom somehow threw her arms over me and it broke one of her arms. It's weird, you call it divine intervention if you want, but she didn't look like someone who'd died in a car accident. At her funeral she just looked like she was sleeping."

His voice cracked on the last word and he broke, just broke. Santana didn't know what to do. She'd seen him cry but this was so, so different. Kurt always looked so strong even when he was crying because he didn't seem to care that he was crying in front of other people. She stroked his hair like she did when her younger sister that no one knew about had nightmares. The first sign that something was wrong was that he didn't seem to care that she was touching his hair.

He was just fine in about five minutes and was blowing his nose and drying her eyes.

"Any questions?" he asked, sniffing.

"If it's all right, didn't you get hurt at all? I don't mean to be blunt but your mom died and you seem fine."

"I got a bad concussion and some small scars from broken glass. The most obvious one is this one," he said pointing to a scar on the back of his neck that Santana had noticed a few times but never mentioned despite her curiosity.

"I had some brain damage and it causes migraines and nose bleeds and stuff like that but I have medication. You would not believe the amount of pills I had to take!"

And just like that he was joking about his terrible situation like it was nothing, like every eight year old had to take a crap ton of medication after being in a car accident that killed their mother.

"For what?" Santana asked although she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"Um, for the migraines, panic attacks, pain meds, depression, anxiety, and mild PTSD," Kurt answered, staring at the ceiling to think and counting the items off on his fingers.

"Oh and because of the brain damage, I had a few seizures and I needed meds for whenever I looked like I was experiencing symptoms."

Santana nodded not knowing what to say. "That sounds like it sucked."

"Not really," Kurt shrugged, "some of the meds made me feel like a zombie but without that I would have nightmares and when I have migraines I needed my medication or else I'd just start crying and not be able to stop. Have you ever had a migraine?"

Santana shook her head no. "Pray that you never do," Kurt said gravely. "Yeah I was fine after the accident physically. The only real problem was trying to swallow the pills."

They both laughed weakly. "And here I was hoping you'd tell me who _you_ had a crush on," Santana said, wiping her eyes.

"Would you like that better?" Kurt asked, chuckling softly.

"Honestly, no," Santana said. Kurt looked at her curiously, "I said I wanted connection and I definitely got one. I feel like I matter now."

"You've always mattered and you always will," Kurt said. He reached over to his laptop and opened the cover. Julie Andrews was there, just as they'd left her, and she would never know what had happened. If only life had a pause button.

"I think we both need some cheering up now," he said and Santana laughed. It's funny when right after you've cried really hard and long over something sad, you seem to laugh at everything, as if you're just looking for a reason to be happy even if its fake or stupid.

They watched the rest of the movie curled up next to each other, so close they might have been one person or maybe Siamese twins. But even with all the tears, red eyes, stuffy noses, used Kleenexes littering the bed they were laying on, and looking as if they'd just gotten kicked out of hell, the two teenagers had never felt more at peace.

**A/N Holy crap that was long. Seriously 3,000 words, I didn't think I had it in me. I hope you enjoyed that. This chapter also showed my take on how Kurt's mom died. I also have her named Elizabeth. By the way, Chris Colfer (if anyone doesn't know who he is, I have nothing to say to you) really does have a scar on the back of his neck. He said in an interview that it's from he was little and one of the lymph nodes in his neck got infected and he needed surgery. If you don't know what a lymph node is, go look it up. I don't have time to be a human biology teacher too. Reviews are Love. (^_^)**

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	4. Chapter 4

Paste your docu

**A/N Hey, hey, hey my fellow fanfictioners. Yeah that's not a thing that people who want friends say so don't try and make it a thing. Who saw Glease! It was BEAUIFUL! I loved replaying Kurt turning Blaine down again and again and again and again and- you get the idea. I like Klaine as a couple I just never really Blaine very much. This is VERY obvious in my other stories. Side note, I want him and Kurt to back together but not for a while. I'm still ROYALLY pissed off at Blaine.**

** WARNING: FINN, MERCEDES, AND NEW DIRECTIONS BASHING. **

The week when Kurt's dad was in a coma was one of the scariest in Santana's life. She could honestly say she loved Burt as a niece loved her favorite uncle. She loved how scary he was but underneath he was a big softy. She loved how he treated her like his own daughter and, most of all; she loved how much he loved Kurt. How much he accepted and supported her friend.

Santana was pissed that she had to find out about the heart attack and coma from Mercedes but she pushed these feelings aside to tell Kurt that she was sorry and that she felt for him. She did her best to give him a 'we'll talk later' look. Yep, she'd handled her emotions well, if she did say so herself, unlike that good for nothing, whale of a boy Hudson who stormed into glee and started yelling at Kurt about not telling him. She sat at the edge of her seat, ready to launch at the football player and let lose a vicious tirade of verbal abuse but Kurt gave into him and moved his bag so Finn could sit next to him.

She slumped back in her seat. Why did Kurt have to give into Finn so easily? She suspected he felt guilty about the whole crush thing even though Finn should be sorry. Calling Kurt, or any person for that matter, a- that _word_ in their own home is unforgivable.

Santana went through glee on autopilot, only watching Kurt for signs of sadness or distress. She barely heard Mercedes sing but she sure as hell heard Kurt say how he didn't believe in God. Santana herself wasn't a very religious person, the closest she got was celebrating Christmas and el Día de Los Mueros, the Day of the Dead, with her family or occasionally going to Sunday Mass.

The next night she saw a mass text from Berry saying something about a prayer circle that she was trying to do for Kurt's dad. She snorted. Did they really think going against Kurt's wishes was going to help him? They could pray for Kurt's dad, in fact she encouraged that, but they didn't need to flaunt it in his face. She sent all of these things in a more..._strongly _worded form to Rachel via text message.

Santana marched through the white hallways of the hospital glancing periodically at the number written on her hand. She reached the correct room and took a deep breath before walking through the doorway. The sight she saw would burned in her mind for the rest of her life. The first thing she saw was the machines. Heart monitors, breathing monitors, things she couldn't begin to know the names of, it was terrifying. She saw Kurt next. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed and hadn't seemed to notice Santana yet. Never had she seen him so lifeless and broken, so lost. He was holding his dad's hand which made him look even more like a small child. She finally looked where she'd been avoiding. She'd been mentally preparing herself for what Burt might look like. She knew a heart attack wouldn't have any outward signs of hurt but the way he was just laying there, like he would wake up and kick Kurt and Santana off the TV so he could watch the game at any minute, it was heartbreaking. No amount of prayers could change that he might never do that again, not in Santana's mind.

She sank into a chair next to Kurt and placed her hand on his back. He jumped and stared at her, as if they'd never met before.

"Santana," he said in a raspy voice, "am I dreaming?"

She shook her head and turned to look at Burt. "Has anything changed?"

Now it was Kurt's turn to shake his head. "No, the doctors don't know if he'll ever wake up."

"What have you been doing?" Santana asked.

"Not much," Kurt said, "holding his hand, talking to him."

"Does that help?" the Latina asked.

Kurt shrugged. "Apparently," was his reply.

Santana stayed sitting next to Kurt. The only noise in the room was the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the tick of the clock on the wall. Occasionally doctors would come in and check the monitors and ask Kurt questions. He always answered in the same tired, helpless voice. Santana was worried, she'd seen him this way before but the way he didn't seem to care if he looked weak to the doctors was just plain scary.

Santana looked at the time and saw that it was nearly 9:00 p.m. Visiting hours were almost over. She'd been warned by the woman at the desk about the time.

"Hey Kurt," she said, breaking the heavy silence. He grunted in response, something Santana had never heard before. "Where are you staying?" Santana asked.

Kurt looked over at her and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she said, "you can't stay home alone. You need someone to take care of you."

"I'm not a two-year-old," he said. Under normal circumstances he probably would've sounded angry but instead he sounded defeated.

"No, but you are a kid whose Dad might die and probably has no clue what he's supposed to be doing."

Kurt shrugged even though he hadn't been asked a question. Santana sighed. "Come on. Visiting hours ends soon and you're staying with me."

"What? No," Kurt said indignantly.

Santana put on her dangerous face and said through gritted teeth, "Kurt Hummel, you are coming and staying at my house with me until your dad wakes up or so help me I will drag to my car and then my home by your hair."

Kurt got up immediately; he knew Santana didn't make empty threats. He murmured a quick goodbye to his dad and followed Santana off to her car. He'd tried to get to his own but Santana stopped him, he was in no condition to drive.

They arrived at Santana's home a few minutes later although her home was more like a mansion. She still lived in Lima Heights Adjacent but it was in the rich part of the neighborhood. Her dad was a doctor after all. The two were greeted by a worried and slightly enraged Mrs. Lopez who went on a rant to Santana about not calling and saying where she was going for a good five minutes before even noticing Kurt's presence next to Santana.

"Hello," she said, before turning back to her daughter, "Who's this?"

"Mamá, his name is Kurt. He's in glee with me and his dad is in the hospital in a coma. His mom is-" She cut off and looked at Kurt who didn't seem to be listening instead was looking around the huge room in awe.

"Not around," she supplied, "so he needs somewhere to stay. Can he please stay here Mamá? Please!"

She was literally begging on her knees at this point but now that she was home, she wasn't sure whether or not Kurt would be allowed to stay.

Mrs. Lopez's eyes immediately softened and normally Santana would be celebrating being allowed to do whatever she wanted but this time she was just relieved.

"Get up," Mrs. Lopez said, "get up. Don't beg it isn't becoming. Of course your friend can stay here, provided that he is _just_ your friend."

She said the last sentence sternly and Santana nodded vigorously. She ran over to Kurt and grabbed his hand. "Let's go to my room."

He followed her obediently. They got ready to sleep and lay on Santana's massive bed awake in silence for a few minutes until Santana broke it. "Kurt," she whispered.

"Yes, Santana," he answered.

"Are you scared," she said, staring at the ceiling.

"Terrified," Kurt answered without hesitation.

Santana didn't know how to reply or why she'd asked to begin with so she rolled over on her side of the bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next few days they rarely talked despite being so close. They went back to Kurt's house the next day to get some of his clothes and then they went to school. He went to the hospital again that night. Santana would have come to but he asked to be alone. He came back two hours later completely pissed.

"They did a prayer circle," he spat when Santana asked what was wrong. "I tried to tell them I didn't want it. They don't get that I just don't have their beliefs. They can pray on their own time but why couldn't they leave me alone. And then my seek got there and Finn asked why I didn't say I wanted to pray in Muslim. Why did they assume that it was about prayer?"

He was pacing, back and forth, in front of Santana's bed. His hands were clenching and unclenching into fists.

"I just want to scream," he said.

Santana reached over and tossed him a pillow. He caught it and looked at her curiously. "Go ahead," she said.

Kurt looked at it for a moment before putting his face in the pillow and screamed. It was muffled from the pillow but still quite loud. Santana was glad that no one was home. A few minutes later, Kurt emerged from the pillow. "That felt good," he said breathlessly.

Santana smiled at him. "I bet," she responded.

"I'm going to lose my voice now. I need it for the song that I really to sing. That is if Mr. Schue will let me," he said.

Santana raised her eyebrows. "What song?"

"Haven't quite decided that yet but probably something by the Beatles," he replied, gently hitting the pillow in his lap with both fists.

"Why the Beatles? I thought that you could only sing songs from the one musical. Evil or something."

Kurt's head snapped up and he looked angry. "One, the musical is called WICKED. It is a Broadway legend and you'll be a fool to think otherwise. Two, you've heard me sing other songs before including freaking Mellencamp. And three, I- _Why are you laughing?_"

Santana had been shaking with silent laughter throughout his speech. "Because you're back, at least a little," she said. She was gasping for breath. It had been a long time since she'd laughed this hard at anything. Kurt was looking at her as if she was crazy.

Santana laughed for a while longer until she seemed to realize how awkward it was and she cleared her throat. "So anyway, why the Beatles?"

Kurt stared at his hands which were folded in his lap. "My parents both loved the Beatles. It was the only music that they could agree on since my mom loved Broadway and my dad likes country and classic rock. I feel that I need to honor them both."

Santana gave him a sad smile. "That sounds amazing."

The next few days were better between the two of them. Mrs. Lopez adored Kurt. She took his fashion advice whenever Kurt offered it. At every meal, she gave Kurt double on everything, insisting that he was too thin.

He bonded with Santana's younger sister, Celia, in a way that Santana never had. She saw the two of them one night in Celia's room. Kurt was braiding her dark hair and she was giving him the scoop on the latest sixth grade drama and gossip. Everyone loved how you could dish to Kurt and he would never tell anyone what you say and Celia took advantage of this whenever possible.

On Sunday morning, Kurt was gone for most of the day. She knew his seek was coming to the hospital in the afternoon but when she got up at 9:00 a.m., he was already gone. She texted him over twenty times without reply and he hardly ever turned his phone off. Santana was scared out of her mind. That afternoon he came back home and Santana immediately cornered Kurt and began to interrogate him about his whereabouts.

"I was at church with Mercedes," he said shrugging nonchalantly. Something tightened in Santana's chest.

"Why? You don't believe in God," she said.

"I don't know, it didn't change my beliefs but it was nice. Now I need to go to Celia's room. She's going to tell me how she thinks Josh is cheating on Mallory."

He rolled his eyes at the six grader's ideas and exited the room.

It was late on Tuesday night when Santana received the mass text sent out by Kurt which contains only three words.

**HE WOKE UP!**

She screamed in excitement and ran to her mom who was cooking dinner and told her. She was screaming and soon Celia was added to mix. They were all jumping up and down until Celia suddenly became somber and asked in a small voice. "Does this mean that he won't live here anymore?"

"Oh, Celia, he'll be allowed back whenever we wants," Mrs. Lopez said.

Kurt showed up at their door a few hours later with a large bag. "Hi," he said when Santana answered the door. He had a bright smile on his face, something Santana had been afraid she would never see again, "I come bearing gifts!"

He held up the bag to illustrate his point. Santana opened the door wider to let him in.

"What brought this on?" Santana asked.

"What do you think? Did you get my text? I wanted to celebrate my dad waking up and you being the most awesome friend ever."

They were in Santana's room at this point and she was digging around the bag which contained Mountain Dew, snacks, and some of their favorite movies including _The Sound of Music_ which had become a tradition for both of them.

"Why aren't you in the hospital with your dad?" she asked, opening a bottle of Code Red.

"He's sleeping right now; I'll go back to the hospital tomorrow. As soon as he passes a stress test and some other tests, he can come home. For now I want to celebrate with my best friend."

"What about Mercedes?" Santana asked bitterly. She didn't know why, but Kurt going to church with Mercedes had rubbed her the wrong way.

"She can wait. You were there for me when even she wasn't. I'm also pretty sure she'd invite Quinn and the other girls and I'm not in the mood to listen to them talk about how their prayers saved my dad and the power of God or whatever."

He rolled his eyes at the idea. Santana was confused. She thought Mercedes had been there for him. "What do you mean she wasn't there?" she asked.

"She only talked to me when she was criticizing me for not believing in God. None of them asked where I was staying. She seemed to think I'm staying with Finn and Carole, as if I'd ever, and Finn and everyone else thinks I'm staying with Mercedes. I didn't tell them where I was because it would break our code and they never asked. They just weren't there for me like you were. You also distracted me from my situation and helped me through the times when I just couldn't ignore it anymore. Whenever I tried to talk to any of them, all they would talk about is how my dad's in the hospital and how he might die," Kurt said.

Santana nodded, processing the information. "How did everyone react to him waking up?" she asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes and handed her his iPhone.

_From Cedes: see Kurt, prayers do work!_

Santana looked up from the message with raised eyebrows. Kurt nodded. "See! This is the main reason I didn't celebrate with her."

_From Tina: That's amazing! When's he coming home?_

_From Puck: Cool dude._

_From Rachel: That is excellent news Kurt. I hope he's doing well._

_From Mike: Nice. I'm happy for you._

_From Artie: we knew he could do it_

_From Brittany: YAAAAYYYYYYYYY!_

_From Quinn: Congratulations!_

Santana smiled slightly at Brittany's message. Then she noticed something. "Where's Finn's text? He did text back right?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Of course he texted back, I deleted it because I knew if I looked at it for another second, I'd chuck my phone at the wall. He asked me why I told him that Burt woke up in a group text. He's lucky I texted him at all."

Santana rolled her eyes as well. She dug through the bag and grabbed the movie _Miss Congeniality. _She put the movie in her Blue-Ray player.

"I just love this movie and it's hilarious. I think we could use a good laugh. You should sleep over," Santana said.

"Sure." Kurt shrugged.

The next day Kurt was gone for most of school and came back in time for glee. He was upset and he told Santana that his dad wasn't doing well with the tests and while he would recover, it wouldn't be as fast as they'd hoped. His mood didn't improve when Mr. Schue said the glee club would be singing a song about God and of course Mr. Schue gave him a verse to sing alone. As everyone got into position to sing, Santana immediately stood by Kurt. Their code be damned, she was standing next to her friend.

Quinn took her place at his other side. Santana glared at Mercedes when she protested the arrangement but Quinn agreed to let her stand by him later. Kurt kept his head down through the entire thing. He was too busy thinking about his dad and tests and hospitals to worry about which of his friends was going to stand by him. After the song was over he went back to the hospital, this time with Santana and visited his dad.

"Hey kiddo," Burt said weakly as Kurt entered.

"Hi Dad," Kurt said softly, sinking into one of the chairs by the large bed.

Santana stood over by the door, unsure of what to do until Kurt called her over. "Come on Tana. Don't start being shy now," Kurt said.

Santana nodded and went to sit next to Kurt. She barely listened as Kurt described what had happened in glee and school. They had to leave eventually when visiting hours ended.

They were walking down the hallway in silence. Kurt was humming "I Want to Hold Your Hand".

"Did the doctors say when he can come home?" Santana asked.

Kurt sighed. "They think in the next week for sure. He's doing better than a few days ago, that's for sure."

"Things are getting better, aren't they?" Santana said.

Kurt nodded and smiled at his best friend. "Yes, Santana, I think they are."

**Yes I gave Santana a younger sister. I don't know if I'll come back to her at all but if you people want me to, I will. I don't know if I put all the accents in the right places and stuff but I know a lot about the Day of the Dead from Spanish class. Until the next time. Reviews are Love (^_^)**

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Hello everyone! Let me just say, I think this is my favorite fan fiction to write. The ideas just keep coming and it's easier to write. Now I feel like I just said which of my children is my favorite. Heh, heh. (-_-) Awkward.**

** Takes place during Furt: **_Direct from the show, _my own

_"It's nice to know that I have such great friends here," _Kurt said. His gaze flickered towards Santana. She sent him a smile which he did not return. Instead he turned away and looked a little guilty. She frowned. What was wrong with him? He hadn't done anything. Well, not that Santana knew of.

_"As well as a true brother," _Kurt continued and looked at Finn who was sitting in the front row next to Berry.

Finn smiled and looked all proud of himself. Santana rolled her eyes and desperately fought the urge to slap his face off. Rachel gave him this sappy love-filled smile that made Santana want to puke.

_"Which is why it's so hard for me to leave," _Kurt continued. Santana's eyes tore away from the sickening sight and her mind stopped in its evil tracks of thinking of ways to burn Rachel's clothes. Her eyes widened, her heart pounded, and she couldn't see or think straight. She half heard Quinn ask what he meant and Kurt explaining and Tina saying that he couldn't leave and Finn asking if Kurt could talk to him about this. Her annoyance at him thinking Kurt was his dog or something was still there but not quite as strong because she felt the same way. She heard Sam and Puck's ideas to protect her friend and tried to nod and agree with the two but every part of her body suddenly felt as if it was made of lead and she couldn't move.

_"Wait does this mean that you're going to be completing against us for Sectionals?" _Rachel asked. Several people glared at her. Santana's anger snapped her out of her daze and she raised her hand, ready to squash that tiny insect once and for all.

Mercedes interrupted her by stepping forward and only saying 'Kurt'. Santana hated the betrayed look in Mercedes's eyes. She hadn't been close to Kurt since Burt's heart attack and Kurt met Blaine. Her possessiveness had come back and she hadn't paid any attention to what they were talking about. Even when Santana couldn't give two craps about what Kurt was saying, she still pretended to be interested. It allowed her to know more about Broadway than she'd care to admit. Aretha had no right to be hurt.

_"I'm sorry," _Kurt said, clutching his bag and taking a step back, _"I have to go."_

He sent a Santana a look before turning around walking out the door. She could tell by the way his shoulders slumped forward slightly, he was trying not to break down and cry right there and then.

Mr. Schue stood shell shocked for a moment before clearing his throat and saying a small voice. "I don't think we can rehearse with what's just happened. I think we should all just go home."

Everyone got up and moved slowly like they'd just been awakened from a deep sleep expect for Santana. It took her a moment to snap out of her daze but when she did, she grabbed her coat, bag, and music. She walked towards the door, stuffing the music in her bag as she went, and muttering under her breath in rapid Spanish.

The rest of the club members stared after her, wondering what had gotten into Santana. She stomped to her car and started her car, still muttering quietly and looking ready to kill.

"What the hell Hummel?" Santana asked, storming into Kurt's house as soon as he opened the door.

"Yes, Santana, please come in," Kurt said sarcastically. He rolled eyes as he closed the door.

Santana sat him down on the living room coach and stood over him. She began interrogating him but he kept his gaze trained carefully on his knees. This only angered her further.

"What the hell, Kurt?" she started, "Why would you leave us? What did we do wrong? Are we just not good enough for you anymore? You know, I really thought that we were better friends than that. You didn't even tell me! How could-"

"Shut up!" Kurt shouted, jumping to his feet and glaring at Santana with such hatred that she jumped back.

"You sound like Finn!" he said. Santana flinched at the comparison.

"I thought _you _were a better friend then that. I expected this from Finn and Mercedes. I thought that you would get that I wasn't safe."

"What did Karofsky do? The boys were right we can protect you!" she said. Gone was anger, replaced by desperation.

Kurt suddenly froze. He had actually forgotten that only a few people were aware of the seriousness of his situation. He thought that Finn might have filled everyone else in himself.

"He threatened to kill me," Kurt whispered before he could stop himself. He half-hoped that Santana hadn't heard him but he knew she had by the way she gasped.

"Where? Why? When? Oh God, _why_?" she pleaded.

Kurt looked at the girl in front of him and considered telling her the truth. The **whole** truth. He decided against it. He felt guilty enough when he realized that by asking for Blaine's help, he had already told a person Karofsky's secret. That was before his life was threatened though. Kurt didn't know why he kept telling Karofsky that he didn't tell anyone when he had.

"He said he'd kill me if I told anyone about the bullying. And the place, it was at school, right in the middle of a hallway." He concentrated on a dark spot on the carpet next to his right foot. He heard Santana gasp again.

"In a hallway? And no one noticed?" Her voice was a mixture of shock and disgust.

Kurt gave a dry laugh that made Santana jump. It was a scary noise.

"Notice? That's a funny joke Tana. No one ever notices the pathetic little gay boy getting bullied. That's just the circle of life. The best thing I can do is just run away. The boys won't protect me; they're too busy with relationships. Really Rachel was the one who actually said why she didn't want me to leave. Everyone just cares that you need me for Sectionals. I should've left a long time ago."

Santana wasn't sure exactly when she got up and walked towards Kurt but the next thing she knew she was standing in front of him and had her hands on his shoulders.

"Don't you _ever_ talk like that. The rest of the world might see us as little and pathetic but we can't give into it. It doesn't have to be the circle of life for anyone," Santana said, shaking his shoulders slightly for emphasis.

Kurt looked up at her, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. He was amazed by what she said but it wasn't that she said that he was better than that; it was when she used personal pronouns. 'Us', 'we', she was finally identifying herself as gay even if it was only around Kurt. He was so proud of her.

"You inspire me, Kurt. I want you to be safe. If that means going to Dalton Academy and singing against us then so be it, but don't think for one-second that you're being a coward or that the only thing you can do is run away because, Kurt, you are _so _much better than that. I know we've heard that a ton of times from tons of people but that doesn't make it any less true," Santana was crying now and Kurt was too.

"I can't go back to being terrified all the time," he whispered.

Santana nodded. "I know," she said, "I know. I said that I want you to be safe and happy. I hope you make tons of friends at Dalton."

He smiled at her but it was a sad one. "I know that there's a no bullying policy but I'm scared of not fitting in. If I didn't know Blaine, I wouldn't go at all."

"I get it," Santana said, "I mean in high school that's all that really matters."

Kurt nodded and looked up at Santana. He had sort of excited glint in his eyes that Santana was happy to see. "Want to know what I'm _really_ excited for?"

"What?" she asked, leaning in.

"I'm excited to see how far the populars in high school fall. I know that some of them will go amazing places like you, Quinn, Sam, and Brittany. I think that it's because you have something to grounded, that thing is glee club. You have something that lets you know that it's high school, not your kingdom. I'm excited to watch the people who think that they're the kings and queens to fall after high school. I can't wait for them to realize that where you rank in high school doesn't matter in the real world. Reality is best served cold which is why I propose that right we graduate and are ready to leave for the best arts school in New York, we should slushy all the jocks!"

Santana laughed at the childlike, wild excitement in Kurt's eyes. "Sounds like a plan," she said.

"Do you need any help packing for Dalton?" she asked. She looked around the living room and realized that there were boxes that Kurt had been packing for when him and his dad moved into the new house with Finn and his mom.

Kurt nodded. They went downstairs to his basement bedroom. Unsurprisingly, his room was the most packed and the neatest.

"I just need to finish with my desk and closet," he said, "just throw everything into these boxes."

He started to turn around and pack but then he turned around and held up his pointer finger. "Let me rephrase that: _Carefully_ _place _everything into these boxes."

Santana rolled her eyes and nodded. They worked in silence for a while, only speaking when Santana had a question as to where things went or to tease him about the sheer amount of clothing in his closet. As she dug through the extensive closet she found a box. It was small, probably an old shoe box. It was decorated with different colors and stickers.

"What's this?" she asked.

Kurt looked up from his desk. "Oh that old thing? It's just a box I like to keep important things in. Pictures, books, drawings, that kind of stuff. It can just go in there," he said, pointing at a bigger box. He turned around and continued sorting things into piles on his desk.

Santana was ready to put the box away when her curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box carefully and looked at its contents. For the most part it was just old birthday cards and pictures. There were pictures of him when he was little and a few other little kids. There were souvenirs from trips, drawings, feathers, and shells. She saw pictures of Kurt next to a lake. He was crouched down, looking at something in the muddy sand. She chuckled quietly at how small Kurt didn't mind getting dirty. There was also brochures from community plays, concerts, a zoo, (She wondered if this was the same zoo he visited before his mom died. And if it was, why would he keep the brochure?) and a brochure thing from his mom's funeral, those ones that you hand out that say things about their lives. Her picture was on the front. Santana had seen a few pictures of Elizabeth Hummel but it never failed amaze her how much Kurt and his mom looked alike. Not necessarily in a weird way, but they were both really pale and they both had the small color brown hair. The only difference was their eyes. Elizabeth's were a warm brown and, although it may sound like a bad Harry Potter reference, Kurt's eyes were closer to Burt's blue ones. He still didn't have Burt's eyes, they were uniquely his own, and they were beautiful.

Santana put everything back quietly and closed the box. She got up and turned around, ready to put it in the box and hope Kurt wouldn't notice, but Kurt was standing right behind her. She gasped in surprise and dropped the box but Kurt caught it as it left her hands.

"Getting nosy are we?" Kurt said, not looking angry, thank God, but smug. He knew how much Santana hated it when he won.

"Asshole, you scared the crap out of me!" she said.

Kurt laughed. "Language Satan," he reprimanded.

She rolled her eyes and looked everywhere but Kurt's eyes. "Did you like it?" Kurt asked suddenly, sounding a little sad.

Santana turned to look at him, and he was looking at the box fondly. She nodded but remembered he wasn't looking at her. "Yes, I did," she said.

Kurt sat down on the ground and Santana followed suit. "I haven't looked in this forever," Kurt said.

He looked through the pictures slowly, laughing at the silly ones and explaining the stories behind certain others.

"My family rented a cabin on a lake," he said, referring to the picture of him exploring in the sand, "I found two snail shells and I was convinced that I would be the most successful shell collector in the world. This was me looking for some more on the beach."

Santana laughed lightheartedly. She could picture telling anyone he could see about his huge dreams. "I'm just surprised you let yourself get that dirty."

Kurt shrugged. "I don't care if _I _get dirty so long as my clothes are safe. I work around grease and oil all the time anyway," he said.

He got up and grabbed a stack of papers. "I want to keep these pictures and cards somewhere safe, I know the perfect place."

**A/N I realize I write a lot about Kurt's mom. I hope you like my interpretation of her. I'm so excited for the Christmas episode because the spoilers said we're going to find out about Kurt's mom! *high pitched fangirl squeal* YEEEEPPPPP! Reviews are Love (^_^)**

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I feel like I haven't updated this in forever! Oh well, I'm back. I won't bore you too much now.**

**Chapter 3: Silly Love Songs part 1: The Gap Attack **

Well, the Warbler's Gap Attack had been a complete and utter faliure. Not only had the group competely embarrassed themselves, (Why did only Kurt see that singing about sex toys to a guy you've just met is NOT the way to go?) but the unfortunate recipent of the offensive song had gotten fired. Kurt and Blaine sat out in the cold for about ten minutes before Kurt got sick of Blaine's pity party.

"I'm going back inside," Kurt annouced, standing back up from the bench.

"What? Why?" Blaine asked, bushy (_but adorable, _Kurt thought) eyebrows furrowed together in obvious confusion.

Kurt rolled his eyes and said, "Let's see, it's cold, there's a mall, and I want to go shoppping. You want to stay out here and catch pneumonia, then fine but I saw a little shop while we were walking to the Gap that I have just been dying to check out."

He turned and starteded walking towards the mall entrance. He looked over his shoulder a few seconds later to see Blaine following him slowly, still moping. Kurt rolled his eyes.

_Hopeless romantic my ass, _Kurt thought, _he said he was in love with a guy he's known for two weeks. He also outed the guy. Nice job Blaine, nice job. _Kurt thought.

He knew it might just be jealousy talking but it didn't matter if it was Blaine singing his love to Kurt, he would _never_ want to have that song sung to him. He liked romance, he'd made that very clear and if you looked up 'unromantic' in a dictionary, the definition would be: **see "When I Get You Alone". **Then the definition of _that _would be: **the song that the Dalton Warblers sang to a guy who works at a Gap store because their almighty lead singer wanted them to**.

Kurt was back in the Gap with Blaine and the other Warblers ran up to them.

"Well? What did he say?" Trent asked. Now _this _guy was a hopeless romantic. He awwed whenever he saw two people holding hands and was constantly trying to get people together. "You're PERFECT for each other!" was his catch phrase. Yeah he was one of _those. _A crazy matchmaker who would stop at nothing to get two people together. Not gay? Doesn't matter! You can still be madly in love with the random guy you sit next to in class that you've only talked them twice in your life. Not straight? No problem! Because you looked at a girl for more then two seconds, it's clearly meant to be. That's Trent's logic for you.

Back in the Gap, Blaine turned away and looked embarrassed so Kurt quickly answered for him. "Jeremiah got fired and he wasn't really interested in Blaine."

When a few Warblers looked personally affronted, Kurt quickly added, "He said it much nicer then that though."

The Warblers still looked angry but not enough to go killl the guy anymore. They stood a a large clump awkwardly for a minute until they heard a corus of seven voices yell.

"Kurt!" they said.

Said boy turned his voice in their direction so fast, he was sure he got whip lash. Across the store he saw all the girls from the New Directions smiling at him and waving vigirously.

"HEY!" he said, running over to them. He hugged all of the girls, even Lauren. Although the two hadn't been close, he knew her and they'd made jokes about being the odd ones out since she was on the wrestling team and he sang like a girl.

They were all laughing and smiling and the Warblers had never seen Kurt like this and were wondering who these girls were. They walked over slowly.

"How have things been at McKinley? Have you still been getting slushied? Why are you at a Gap in Westerville? Why are at a Gap in general? Haven't I taught you anything about fashion? I expected better from all of you, expect for you Rachel. You unfortunetly just have a terible fashion desease with no cure not even my awesome fabulousness."

All of the girls were laughing at his ridiculosness. Rachel was blushing and looked a little self-conscious. Mercedes answered all of his questions, "We've been OK. Yes, unfortunetly we're still getting slushied. We're at a Gap in Westerville because we knew about the Gap Attack. Don't worry, we didn't actually buy anything here."

Kurt over-dramatically sighed in relief, a hand of his heart as if the idea his girls shopping at such a stupid store was physically paining him. The girls all laughed again.

"Did the thing already go down? Sorry we missed it, but if we did I have got to get out of this store. The massproduced clothes are scaring me," Mercedes finished.

She eyed the clothes around her like they would turn her fabulous clothes into boring drab ones. The Warblers stood behind them and the girls plus Kurt still hadn't noticed them. Wes cleared his throat loudly and the girls jumped.

"Kurt, who are these people?" Wes asked.

"SPYS!" Rachel yelled, pointing at their blazers.

Kurt laughed and lowered Rachel's arm. "Warblers, these are the girls of the New Directions. Rachel they are _not _spies as we are not discussing competition and we aren't in a glee meeting."

He turned to adress the Warblers, "Sorry about her, she's a litte..._intense._ Anyway, that's Rachel, my fellow fashion friend Mercedes, tough girl Lauren, shy girl, happy goth Tina, special, amazing, super sweet Brittany, head bitch Quinn, and the devil incarnate Santana," Kurt said pointing to each girl in turn.

Suddenly Santana spoke up. "Oh yeah Kurt, thank God you're here. I need your help."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. What about their code? He tried to send her a look that showed his point, but she was oblivious to it. "Why, exactly?" he asked.

"She's been getting stalked by this guy and we need your help to make him leave Tana alone," Brittany said.

Kurt looked at Santana with worry clearly on his face. "Really?"

Santana nodded but also rolled her eyes. "Don't look so concerned. He isn't ready to kidnap me but he's been asking me out and flirting. It's just _tradjic. _So we came up with a plan that I would ask a guy to pretend to be my boyfriend and get the guy to leave me alone."

Kurt nodded. "So you want me to be your fake boyfriend." It wasn't a question.

Santana nodded. "You just have to look like the jealous boyfriend who would never let me get taken away from you."

"I can do that," Kurt said, "I just have to look intimading. I will have to change out of this blazer though because you can't begin to look intimating in one."

The Warblers grumbled slightly, muttering things about 'unity' and 'tradition'. Kurt rolled his eyes. If he heard about one more 'Dalton Academy Tradition' he would chuck We's gavel at the council's heads.

A random Warbler laughed at that. "Yeah sure. Kurt intimitating, that's funny."

The girls loked between Kurt and the boy in what looked like fear. Kurt fixed the boy with a stare, not a glare but it made it clear he was angry. It looked like Kurt was having a one way staring with the poor boy who was looking scared, shifting uncomforably, and unavoiding eye contact with Kurt at all costs.

"I'm sorry," the boy said quickly, staring at his feet.

"It's okay," Kurt said, his voice high and too sugary sweet. He had a huge fake smile plastered on his face.

The girls didn't bother to hide their laughter. "Once, Finn accidently insulted Kurt's outfit and Kurt nearly reduced him to tears," Tina said, "it was entertaining."

The girls laughed at the memory. Tina wasn't exaggerating at all. They were pretty sure they saw Finn trying hard not to cry.

"And the clothes are no problem, we can buy you new ones here, but you need to dress like a normal, fashionably challenged guy," Tina said.

Kurt visably flinched and wrikled his nose in disgust. "Me? Wear clothes? From HERE?"

The girls nodded gravely and Kurt sighed. "We're sorry Kurt but it must be done," Quinn said. Kurt nodded in defeat.

"I suppose I would also look more like a boyfriend instead of my usual flambyant self. OK let's do this. Where is this guy?" Kurt asked.

Santana shrugged. "He always ends up in the same store as us and then he bumps into my purposly and winks," she said, shivering, "it's incredibly creepy."

Kurt nodded and sighed. "While if I need to shop here than it must be done."

The girls nodded and forced him towards the men's section. Despite his ealier proclamation, Kurt was resistant until Lauren picked him up and continued through the store with Kurt yelling the whole time.

"LAUREN! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY! LET ME DOWN!" he screamed.

The girls were doubled over in laughter along with most of the Warblers. Lauren let Kurt down in front of the Men's section. The girls unceremoniously threw some shirts and jeans in his size at him. Normally a shopping trip with Kurt was an art and more repected than the Mona Lisa and the most priceless art in the world, but none of them really cared this time. This was strictly a one-time thing. After this, Kurt could go back to dissing the Gap's clothes and wearing his clothes that some would consider more like toture devices than designer articles of clothing.

Kurt steps out of the changing room a few minutes later and everyone present was shocked into silence. Even random shoppers who had never seen Kurt before in their lives seemed to tell that he wasn't dressing as he normally did. His hair now had no product in it and was messy. It was hot but so, so _wrong_. He was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, and a short sleeved blue plaid shirt over it. He'd never looked so uncomfortable in his life.

"Is this okay?" he asked Santana, his fingers plucking at the plaid shirt as if he was itching to tear it off and burn it.

Santana nodded her mouth agape. He looked so NORMAL. She didn't like it, but it would have to do for now. "Just one more thing," she said, "talk in your low voice like when you were going through your butch phase."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You mean like this," he said, speaking in his lower range. The Warblers jumped at the sound and the girls laughed. Sometimes he would answer the phone like that and scare the living crap out of them.

Brittany eyes suddenly lit up and she skpped over to Kurt and took one of his hands in her's. "Kurtie! Does this mean we're dating again? I love that you're my dolphin and happy, happy unicorn but I wanna be your girlfriend again! Can I please?"

"I'm really sorry Britt but we have to keep being just dolphin friends, okay?" he explained kindly.

Brittany looked said for a moment. "I understand. I hope you find another dolphin soon who makes you super happy. Then you would smile and you look better when you smile. I like your smile Kurtie."

She broke her hold on Kurt's hand and gave him a hug. The girls watching were teary eyed and sniffling. Even Lauren was rubbing her eyes suspiciously but if anyone looked at her for too long she would yell at them and they scurried along pretty quick.

"One more thing," Brittany said, steppnig away from Kurt, "Can I can holding your soft little baby hands?"

The girls awwed and Kurt shot them a glare before kindly smiling at Brittany. "Of course you can, Britt."

The girl's were still awwing occationaly but it was Santana who snapped them out of the touching moment by walking up to Kurt and saying, "There's just one more thing we to try." Before attacking his lips with hers.

Kurt let out a terrified squeak and struggled against his friend for a second but she made it very clear he wasn't getting out, he shrugged and gave into the kiss. The girls and Warblers watched in horror as the two began a full blown make out session in the middle of the Gap. Random passerby's watched them in a mix of smugness and disgust. Blaine watched his best friend making out with this _girl_, he thought that Kurt was gay. The Warblers were shocked at Kurt's lack of class and the girls were disturbed because it was KURT and SANTANA making out! Forget about the Mayans, the world was ending NOW.

Surprisingly it was Santana who gave up first. "Hot," she breathed as they separated. They were panting for air.

"What. The. Hell?" Kurt gasped.

Santana cleared her throat. "We should kiss in front of the guy to make it official and I've wanted to do that since you made out with Britt and she said you were the best kisser in school."

Kurt turned to Brittany with his eyebrows raised. "What, you are! Better then all the other boys _and _girls. You're better than Puck!" Brittany said.

Kurt sighed and shook his head in clear disbelief. Suddenly Santana grabbed Kurt's hand. "I see the guy," she said.

Said guy caught Santana's eye and sauntered over, a smug grin on his face. Kurt wanted to punch him, he spelled no good.

"Hey, imagine seeing you-" the guy started but stopped when he saw Kurt and Santana's linked hands.

"Oh hi, this is my _boyfriend _Kurt," Santana said.

Kurt put his arm around Santana's shoulders and gave the guy the same stare he'd used on the Warbler earlier. "Honey, who is this guy?" he asked in a dangerous voice.

Santana giggled (that's right giggled!) and pecked Kurt on the lips. It was nothing like the making out not to long ago but it the point across very clearly. "He's no one, just some guy I met earlier today. Don't be so jealous," Santana said.

Kurt smiled back at her. Rachel's heart heart a little when she saw it. It was the same dopey, lovefilled grin Finn used to give her. Rachel was impressed by his acting skills. They were quite impressive. She sighed, if only he were straight. He would be the beset boyfriend ever. He would respect them and not just treat them like little servants like some boys did. She glanced at the other girls who all seemed to be thinking the same thing. She wondered for a minute who Kurt would choose as his girlfriend. There would defiantly be competition and no doubt there would be a lot of broken hearts and friendships. Mybe things were better this way. She turned to the scene in front of her.

"You never said you had a boyfriend," the guy muttered, looking embarassed and annoyed.

Santana shrugged. "You never asked. It was nice meeting you though."

The guy walked away, his head hung low as he walked the infamous walk of shame. The girls smirked and high fived in victory. "I feel kind of bad," Tina said.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Relax girl Chang, he'll be fine," she said.

"Girl Chang?" Tina asked.

"You and Mike both have Chang in your surname which is incredibly creepy because it makes it look like you two are some of those weird dating cousins. So you're girl Chang and he's boy Chang," Santana said, rolling her eyes as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world.

It was Tina's turn to roll her eyes at Santana's halfhearted insult.

Kurt sighed. "Well this was a waste of an afternoon," he said.

The girls and Warblers looked at him with hurt expressions. "Why?" Quinn asked.

"Because the only result of the Gap Attack was the loss of a job and as much as I love to help out one of my girls, the whole matter was resolved in about 45 seconds," Kurt explained, "now if you'll excuse me, I need to go change back into my uniform. Even that's better than these clothes."

He walked back to the changing room, muttering along the way about 'massproduced crap' and 'the things I do for that girl' which made everyone laugh.

He came back soon to find only Santana left. "Where is everyone?" he asked.

"They all went shopping," she replied, "I want to ask you a question."

"Shoot," Kurt said, adjusting his striped tie.

Santana took a deep breath which made Kurt nervous. It was a sign she was afraid of how the other person would answer or if she should ask the question at all.

"Will you be my date for Valentine's Day?" Santana blurted out.

Kurt's hands stilled at his tie and he looked at Santana for signs she was kidding but all he found was a deadly serious request and a nervous girl.

Seeing Kurt's shock and hesitation she quickly continued. "I know it would be weird but pretend it isn't Valentine's Day, we could go to Breadstix as friends. We've both been lonley and I lost Puck to Lauren. He was the perfect beard and still pretty good at making out. I need a new boyfriend fast. I've already proven that Quinn is cheating on Trouty Mouth with Pyramind Nipples but Beiber boy still doesn't believe it."

Kurt nodded as he listened. He knew what it was like to like someone who never seemed to return his feelings. He looked over at Blaine who was standing in a corner, avoiding shoppers who were questioning what possessed him to sing a song about sex toys in the middle of a Gap. (So Kurt wasn't the only person who saw something wrong with that picture, HA!)

He turned back to Santana. "Okay, we can go to Breadstixs tonight, my treat."

Santana smiled. At least in this crazy, stupid world, she had one person who would love her in a way that no one else could. Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go but their friendship would be forever.

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Don't worry, I'm not dead! I've just been really busy this past week and I couldn't bring myself to write. :( Oh well, I'm back.**

** Enjoy!**

The Lonley Heart's Dinner had been a complete and utter SUCCESS! They Warblers received many compliments and comments that their competion had their work cut out for them.

"That we do," Santana said, playing with the breadstick in her hands.

"What do mean?" Kurt asked, looking up from his chicken alfredo. (On whole wheat noodles of course, that boy was nothing if not a health freak.)

"The New Directions are going to have to work extra hard if we want to beat the Warblers," Santana replied, stabbing hear pasta with more ferosity than usual.

Kurt scoffed and rolled his rolled his eyes. "We're nothing compared to you guys. The only singer is Blaine and I'm sure the judges are going to realize that and not like it. I actually hope that we don't make it to nationals so that it will put the council and Blaine in their place. Besides the New Direction's only problem is when you fight to much and that wasn't to much when I was there. Has that changed?"

It was Santana's turn to scoff. "Hell yes," she said, "I honestly think it has something to do with you leaving. All of a sudden, we're all at each other's throats. Backstabbing, threats, fights, agurments, they're all so much more common now. We miss you and I think that's the root of the fighting."

"I miss you too," Kurt said, "everyday and if I could go back I would but I'm not safe. Dalton is suffocating me. Once I get out of that place, I'm never wearing navy and red in a combination again."

Santana laughed. "I wouldn't either. I honestly think the extra fighting was something to do with you leaving."

"Sorry," Kurt said sincerly. Santana recongized the guilty look on his face quickly and took action.

"No, no, don't blame yourself. I just mean that you really helped us stay together as a team. You're easily the most talented person there," Santana said.

Kurt looked at her in surprise. "Are you dilerious? Rachel's the best," he said.

Santana rolled her eyes. "That girl is diluaded. Mr. Schue's constant praise has inflated her already moon sized ego to the size of a planet. And you're better than her with your range, your general likeablity, and the fact that your voice is just so unique and cool."

Kurt smiled. "Thank you Tana, but if any of that were true, why haven't I gotten a solo by now?"

"I have a theory," Santana said. Kurt raised his eyebrows in disbleif but mostly curiousity.

"I think that Mr. Schue always put you in the background because you tie the whole thing together. Your vocals are amazing anywhere and you adjust your voice to keep the rest of the background or the star couple to keep from sounding out of tune. Plus you keep Rachel from completely taking over the club and you encourage all of us to not let ourselves be ruled by Finn and Rachel," Santana said.

Kurt looked as if he was debating whether or not to trust what Santana was saying. What she was saying about trying to encourage them was right. Mercedes acted like she was always on top of things but she was actually sacred of being scared. If it wasn't for Kurt's praise, she'd probably take singing backup for Finn and Rachel her whole high school life.

"Do you want me to come back? Because I would if it wasn't for Karofsky," Kurt said.

Santana rolled her eyes. "What do you think, dumbass? Of course I want you back! But you're right, you need to stay where you're safe."

Kurt huffed and pouted a bit. "I'm so sick of people thinking I can't protect myself. I can actually kick ass if I want to but before Karofsky's threat, I never thought I'd really have to."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Sure, Kurt, you can totally kick ass," she said sarcastically.

Kurt huffed again. "Fine, don't believe me," he said.

They sat in silence just eating their pasta. Finally Kurt spoke up. "Besides, if I left Dalton, I'd have to leave Warblers and Blaine."

Santana rolled her eyes yet again. "Sure, why would you ever want to leave that told you to change yourself?"

Kurt didn't know how to respond to that. Because it was ture, why did he feel the need to stay in a place with such a negative effect on his life.

"I just don't want my dad and Carole to have wasted their honeymoon money for me to come home just because I'm bored," Kurt said.

Santana nodded. "I get that but I also know that the whole point of standing up for bullies and stuff was so that you wouldn't have to be anything less than who you are. They wouldn't want you staying at Dalton if they knew you were changing yourself," she said.

Kurt didn't reply. He knew she was right. "If Karofsky is taken care of, I'll come back, I promise," he said.

Santana immediatly started grinning as wide as the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. It didn't take a genius to tell Kurt that she was plotting. He rolled his eyes. Let her plot. The sooner she took care of the football player, the sooner they could rule McKinley with an iron fist and bitchy attitude.

"This has been the best Valentine's Day ever," Kurt declared.

Santana smiled and raised her glass in a toast. They clinked their glasses together and laughed.

"You don't make a bad friend date, Kurt," Santana said.

"Maybe we should do this next year," Kurt suggested.

Santana raised her eyebrows. "You planning on still being single?"

Kurt stopped with a look of horror on his face. They shuddered at the thought of another lonley year in unison.

**That was a really short chapter for this fic. I've been writing shorter and shorter chapters lately. : / This depresses me. :( Anyway,**** Reviews are Love (^_^)**

**Peace, Love, Glee**

**Julez**


	8. Chapter 8: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

**A/N: Oh my God it feels like forever since I've updated. I'll try to update at least once a week. I have a ton of ideas it's just a matter of getting them down on paper, or monitor. *cue drum thing* Yes, thank you, thank you I'll be here all night. But really, I promise to update more. BTW I've started naming chapters for the episodes they take place during.**

**WARNING: mild swearing, slightly bitchy Kurt and normal Santana. I really just have this warning because of one gay sex joke that I don't even know why I put it in here but it seemed very Santana-ish.**

___**From the show.**_

** Nick fans should be happy with this chapter.**

**BTW (this is the longest author's note ever) I'm putting Kurt's name in italics during phone conversations so it will be easier to tell that it's him.**

Coach Sue was insane. This was common knowledge to be sure (Have you spent more than two seconds with the woman?) but she was acting more insane then normal for some reason. The scary thing was, the way she was acting calm and just a little bored and lifeless. It was like a ticking time bomb, you just knew she was going to explode eventually and when she did, Santana knew the glee club would be hit hardest, they always were.

Oh well, Mr. Schue would put a stop to this. He would protect the members of the club. Then they would all thank him on bended knee and there would be tears and group hugs, you know, the usual. Because isn't that what he lived for, mindlessly challenging the most powerful woman on Earth? Idiot. How the hell did get a teaching degree?

Santana was opening her locker when heard a familiar giggling and turned to see Artie wheeling down the hallway with Brittany on his lap. The Latina rolled her eyes and turned back to her locker, angrily shoving books into the metal book as if each one had personally affronted her. Why did she have to be in love with someone who was taken? Why did she have to be in love at all? She wasn't a falling in love and finding 'the one' type girl, so why did she have to fall in love with her best friend who was also a _girl_? It would be tragic enough if she fell in love with a boy but no, she had to be head over heels for a girl while living in goddamn Ohio, in one of the most small minded cities in the state.

She slammed her locker closed and resisted the urge to be her head against the metal. Why did Artie's locker have to be across the hall from her's and why was he choosing this very moment when Santana was already in a pissy mood to have a heated make out session with said person's crush? That boy had a death wish.

She walked to Cheerios practice where Becky and two junior Cheerio mangers were passing out blue wigs.

"They look like my sister's hair after she dyed it herself at home using some stuff she bought from a guy in a dark alley," Brittany said, pulling at the wig.

Santana rolled her eyes. If anyone was dumber then Britt, it was Britt's older sister. She didn't know how her parents could stand it. Answer: Most of the time, they didn't. Britt and her younger sister practically lived at their best friend's or boyfriend's houses because their parents didn't know how to deal with them most of the time.

"Yeah, Britt, whatever," she said, adjusting her wig so none of her dark hair would show.

She knew of course, that if was for the Katy Perry number they'd been rehearsing. It involved fire and BMX biking. Yet when they performed it, Sue wasn't really watching, apparently checking her email was more important.

_**"I'm bored,"**_she said into her trusty megaphone after the performance.

Most of the girls looked disappointed. (One girl's boob sparkler, as the girls had nicknamed them, went out and if any of them were dramatic enough, they could have said something about the sparkler dying represented the death of their excitement and expectations, but none of them were that over the top excluding Berry and she wasn't even on the Cheerios.) Despite everyone else's disappointment, Santana just rolled her eyes.

_No! You, bored! Ha, I couldn't tell,_ she thought sarcastically.

She listened to the rest of Coach Sue and Quinn's conversation in disbelief and boredom. The only thing that was remotely interesting was when she slapped herself with chicken as well as Brittany as ordered by Sue. She tried not to enjoy smacking Britt but it was funny and maybe it would slap some sense into her so she can realize how much Santana loved her.

The Cheerios let out after Quinn gave Sue some stupid advice about topping herself (Wanky!) and the girls hit the showers. One bad thing about being on the Cheerios was the uniforms. Oh they were fine for the most part. All the colors matched, it was made of sturdy material that wasn't a stupid gross blend, and- oh God she was turning into Kurt!

Ahem, anyways, the only bad thing about the uniforms was that they needed to wear them everyday and you also performed in them, yeah. That part of it sucked but it was worth it to show everyone how they were the top bitches and that they were to be respected but Santana couldn't show of her sexy clothes that Kurt helped buy her and she had to perform and sweat in the same uniform she wore everyday to school. Well, that wasn't true they got two or three uniforms and one was for the day and one was for performance. The performance ones were respected most though, those were the new ones. If you got so much as a pin prick size stain on your performance uniform, you were off the squad.

"You want to hang out later?" Santana asked Brittany.

"No thanks, Artie's gonna tell Lord Tubbington to stop smoking, he won't listen to me anymore," Brittany said, drying her long hair.

Santana felt a stab of anger and sadness. She used to be the person who told Britt's cat not to do the weird things Britt claims he did.

"I thought I was supposed to do that," Santana said.

"I know, but last time you called it dumb. Artie never calls it dumb," Britt said.

Brittany didn't mean for it to sound like she was comparing her to Artie, Santana knew that. But that didn't stop it from pissing her off.

"Whatever. I'm going to go hang out with Q," Santana said.

Of course she didn't hang out with Quinn, they hadn't quite recovered from their fight earlier in the year, they only really stood to be around each other, not really true friends. Had they ever been true friends though? They'd known each other in middle school and when high school had started they'd decided they should both join the Cheerios and to act like best friend bitches to make everyone else jealous. They were like Satan sisters. Friends when it suited them and they needed each other for popularity and the like.

No, Santana would call Kurt. Since him and the gel hobbit were still living in a "best friend" haze of sexual tension, he should be free.

_"Sup Satan,"_ Kurt said as he answered the phone.

"Hey, you busy?"

_"No, you okay?_"

"I fine," Santana sighed. "Okay, maybe I'm not. Britt's got a date with Professor X and it pissed me off. I wanted to talk to you."

_"Kay, talk," _Kurt said.

He was in his small dorm room at Dalton which he stayed in durning the week and was also only occupied by him, no roommate. Just one of the (only) benefits of transferring mid-term. He was laying on his bed on his stomach, his feet in the air, prepared for a long lady chat.

"I just don't know what to do."

Kurt sighed._ "Tana, no one ever does, love will forever be a mystery."_

"Stop sounding like a goddamn poet and tell me what to do."

Kurt laughed and rolled over, hanging over the side of his bed and staring around his room upside down. He did this sometimes when he's bored and just wants a new perceptive.

_"There's the girl I know and love,"_ he said.

Santana laughed. Her phone made a beeping noise alerting her that another call was coming in. Britt's face flashed across the screen.

"K, I have to go, Britt's calling me," Santana said.

_"Kay, bye." _Kurt hung up and sighed. His arm dropped off the side of his bed and his phone fell onto the carpet. What were the chances that two people in Lima, Ohio both in love with their best friends would find friendships with each other? Speaking of best friends, Blaine was still a clueless idiot. He'd sang to other guy and even after Kurt confessed his feelings, he'd turned him down. Kurt thought things might be a little awkward but no, things were exactly as they were. Blaine continued sending insane mixed messages. Kurt personally would've rather there have been some awkwardness, he felt that without some Blaine was practically still inviting Kurt to chase after him. After all, if it was awkward then Kurt would know Blaine really didn't want to date him and he could try to move on with his life. But it was nothing like that. Maybe Blaine was just too clueless to know how to make things awkward.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone dinging, alerting him of a text from Santana.

**Britt was just telling me bout cheerios practice. night-S**

Kurt rolled over and fell asleep right then and there, still in his Dalton uniform, exhausted by heartbreak and the weight of life on his shoulders.

The special practice turned out to be Coach Sue announcing her plans to shoot Brittany out of a cannon and the girls staring at her in disbelief. Even Brittany seemed to realize that she probably wouldn't survive this. Santana was pissed at Sue. Maybe having feelings for Brittany made her a little biased, (She really wouldn't mind if any of the other bitchy girls died getting shot out of a cannon.) but Coach Sue had officially lost it if she thought anyone was going to let her do this.

_**"I don't wanna die,"**_Brittany said, holding the head of the poor demolished dummy.

Quinn said she would talk to Mr. Schue and Santana rolled her eyes. See? Schue was the solution to every problem.

Santana was in history when shit hit the fan. She was innocently flirting with the guy next to her while shooting daggers into the back of Artie's head and wondering the best way to kill him in a way that would make her seem innocent when she heard a screaming and the sound of things being smashed. The dazed teacher (He always had a dazed look in his eye which caused students to suspect that he sells pot as a night job.) tried to maintain order but soon all the students were out of their seats and running to the sound of the noise which turned out to be Sue destroying the principal's secretary's office. She quickly moved on to the hallway, throwing kids books and hats and yelled unintelligible things and Santana knew: Time Bomb Sue had exploded.

The next few days went in a sort of haze of football players, zombies, and human cannons. Coach Sue had somehow convinced Brittany that the human cannon _missed _her and that it needed the money it somehow got from expelling Brittany from it across a football field to pay to take care of it's _children_. It was too late, Brittany had signed the consent form and Sue was making the Cheerios choose between glee club and the cheer squad. They choose cheerleading and Finn had yelled at Quinn but that still didn't prepare Santana for the call she got the day after quitting right after Cheerios practice.

_"I cannot believe you," _Kurt said as soon as Santana answered the phone.

Santana sighed. "I'm not in the mood for this Kurt," she replied.

_"Santana," _Said girl involuntarily flinched, Kurt hadn't called her by her full name since they'd roomed durning the week from hell when Burt was in a coma. _"Why would you quit glee club? We both know how much you love it there. Are you scared of not being popular? Why would you-"_

"That's freaking rich coming from you," Santana interrupted, "you're the one who ran away from McKinley and Karofsky with your tail in between your legs."

There was a deafening silence on the other end of the line. Santana immediately felt so guilty. "Kurt I'm so-"

_"I'll talk to you later, Santana," _Kurt said quickly before hanging up his phone.

Santana slowly lowered her slightly shaking hand to her side. She'd never hated herself this much in her life. She looked around her room. She grabbed a pillow of her immense bed and started punching it repeatedly. She hadn't realized she was crying. She had trouble breathing from the tears. She buried her face in the pillow and screamed.

Back at Dalton, Kurt was going through the same thing. He screamed into his pillow but a few seconds later there was a knock on his door. He was expecting some prefect saying that he was breaking 'the sacred silence' or some crap like that.

"What?" he said gruffly, swinging open the door. He wasn't expecting a surprised looking Jeff Sterling.

Jeff had been walking to his best friend Nick's room when he heard a scream. It sounded frustrated and broken and so, so sad. He didn't know who stayed there. Last he knew, the room was empty. He wouldn't be surprised if the person was sick of his roommate and broke into an empty room to be by himself. He'd be in a crap ton of trouble if he got caught but Jeff got that some people needed to their time alone.

This in mind, he shouldn't have bothered the person when they clearly needed a moment. Yet he knocked on the door anyway. It was a few seconds before the door swung open revealing none other than Kurt Hummel.

Jeff liked Kurt, he really did. Sure the kid was a little outspoken sometimes but he was nice enough and really talented. He'd been great with his solo but with the whole Warbler way of not thinking outside the box, it was a little out there. And it was also a show tune, Warblers don't do show tunes. So all together, Jeff liked the new kid, so he was concerned when he saw him standing in the doorway looking like hell.

Jeff took in the appearance of his fellow Warbler and was shocked. Kurt's eyes were puffy and red, his uniform was wrinkled, and his hair was messy for the first time in the history of hairspray. It was scary considering how put together Kurt normally was.

"What?" Kurt growled in a scary tone.

"I just, I heard screaming. You okay?" Jeff asked.

"Peachy," Kurt snapped and made to close the door but Jeff stopped him.

"Kurt, we can both see that's a load of bullcrap. Please let me help you," Jeff said sincerely.

Kurt blinked up at him for a moment, seeming more than a little shocked at the boy's offer. He opened the door more and gestured for Jeff to come in.

"Thanks," Jeff said.

Kurt frowned, wondering what Jeff was thanking _him _for.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" Jeff asked.

Kurt was ready to say no and that Jeff should mind his own business but he stopped himself. Jeff was a nice guy. Little bit of a partier and had a worse dye job then Sam but that was okay. Maybe Kurt could talk to him.

"I have this friend who's a little confused with her feelings for her best friend who is also a girl," Kurt started, "I guess that actually doesn't have much to do with why I'm screaming...Oh wait! I know why. So we weren't friends before and now we are friends. I trust her with my life and I think she's my best friend. She's on my old school's cheerleading squad as well as the glee club. The two coaches hate each other and she had to choose between glee and cheerleading and she choose cheerleading. My stepbrother told me and I kind of yelled at her. She said some really nasty things but so did I and I hung up on her and then I kind of screamed. Which is where you come in."

Jeff processed all the information he'd just been given.

"She's in the closet?"

Kurt nodded. "I'm the only person she's told. So please don't tell anyone else about her."

" I won't. I'm just sorry she's having a rough time with that but maybe that's why she snapped. I'm sure she still wants you to be her friend. She needs you."

Kurt nodded. "Thanks Jeff," he said.

Jeff smiled at the new boy. His phone suddenly chimed in his pocket. He took it out and glanced at the text message.

"Everything okay?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, just Nick. I was on my way to meet him when I stopped here," Jeff said.

"Well go, I have to call my friend anyway," Kurt said, extracting his phone from his pocket. Jeff stood to leave. Just as was at the door Kurt called out.

"Jeff!" The boy turned back. "Thanks again."

Jeff smiled and waved before running out in the hallway towards Nick's room.

Kurt tried calling Santana five times and got voice mail every time. Maybe she was busy getting her mack on with Brittany but since Britt had a date with Artie, probably not.

Kurt went to the football game with Blaine. He watched as the girls walked onto the field, them get their asses kicked in the first half. He saw Tina get tackled. He asked Blaine what was going on every two seconds. He was excited for the half time show and saw Santana and the other two Cheerios on the field with the football players and glee club members. He'd never felt so proud of Santana.

After the game, he walked through the empty halls of McKinley High School in search of someone. He found her alone in the girl's bathroom washing zombie makeup off her face.

"You guys rocked," Kurt said softly.

Santana started and looked at Kurt on the grimy bathroom mirror. Kurt couldn't tell if she was glad to see him or not. This frightened him. Then she smiled and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in.

"Thanks, I, um, I had to quit Cheerios but it's worth it," she said.

Kurt nodded. Santana looked guilty for a moment and Kurt knew what she was going to say next.

"Look, Kurt, about the fight, I'm-"

"It's fine," Kurt said, "honestly. I overstepped and so did you but we can just forget about it."

Santana looked relieved. "You're awesome, K."

"I know," Kurt said smugly.

Santana smacked him lightly on the arm and the walked out of the dirty bathroom, hand in hand.

**A/N: Woah, another monster chapter. Random thought while watching this episode. Why did Mr. Schue give Santana the lead in Heads Will Roll when she wasn't even going to be there? Glee gets wierder everytime I watch it.**


	9. Chapter 9: Sexy

**A/N: Oh my God it's been so long! I'm so sorry, please forgive me!**

"And so now that awesome sub is back and she's teaching us about..."

Kurt stared blankly at his computer where he was skyping with Santana. He wasn't really listening to what his friend was saying and was only nodded and saying 'Oh' from time to time to keep her thinking he was interested. The truth was, he was a little too busy thinking about something.

It was a question, a question that had been bothering him for days. It was what he wondered about at night when he couldn't sleep and when he was studying. Kurt was even thinking about it now when he should be listening to Santana's more he thought about it, the more Kurt knew he needed to ask He knew Santana would give him a straight answer so maybe he could ask her.

"Kurt, are you listening to me?" Santana snapped.

"Tana, do you think I'm sexy?" Kurt asked, feeling more ridiculous than he ever had in his entire life.

Santana's response was not the one he was expecting. She sat for a moment in shock. She was just blinking at Kurt, her mouth slightly open from being interrupted mid-sentence.

Then she was laughing, laughing so hard she fell out of her chair and was on the floor. A few moments later, she dragged herself off of the floor and back onto her chair, wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes and still wheezing slightly.

"Sorry, Special K, it's just... whew. Oh my God my makeup!" she said, as she took her fingers away from her eyes and saw them covered in mascara and eyeliner.

"You could've just said no," Kurt mumbled, feeling self-conscious.

"What?" Santana said, snapping out of her haze of hilarity. "Why would I say you're not sexy?"

Kurt stared at her in disbelief. "Why else would you be laughing?"

"Why would you ask me something so stupid?"

"Why don't we stop talking in questions?" Kurt asked.

"Fine," Santana said, "I just don't get why you'd think you aren't sexy. You totally are."

Kurt shrugged. Maybe Santana couldn't give him a straight answer. She was probably too scared of hurting his feelings. He wished that everyone would stop treating him like he was about to break like a porcelain doll.

"I'm serious. Why would you think you aren't sexy?" Santana asked.

She was worried about Kurt. He may walk around acting like an Ice Queen Bitch, but years of being told that he wasn't worth anything because he's gay had really taken a toll on his self-esteem. She should know, there were days when she would make comments that were just like she would normally do but Kurt would sometimes take the rude remarks to heart, and always making Santana feeling an emotion that wasn't familiar at all to her: guilt.

"The Warblers, well more like only Blaine, decided that we needed to work on our sex appeal because that would help us win regionals or some crap," Kurt explained, rolling his eyes at the stupidity of the entire situation, "so we sang the song 'Animal' for Dalton's sister school which is an all girls school. After the number, Blaine told me that the way I was trying to look sexy made it look more like I had gas pains."

Santana bit her lower lip to try and keep from laughing or smiling, but Kurt still saw her. He sighed and dropped his head in his hands. She composed herself quickly.

"Kurt, you're just sweet and innocent. I'm sure a lot of guys like that," Santana said.

"Yeah sure, a lot of date rapists," Kurt mumbled. "I just don't get it Tana. I tried _so _hard-"

"Whoa, see right there it your first problem," Santana interrupted loudly, making her friend jump and look like a deer in the headlights.

"What?"

"You _tried. _Kurt the thing about you is that when you try to be sexy...you fail. It's when you _don't _try that you drive everyone crazy."

Kurt stared at her in disbelief. "No way. You're just lying to make me feel better."

"Kurt if there's one thing I never do, it's lie to spare someone's feelings. That's why so many people think I'm a bitch."

Kurt still looked doubtful and Santana sighed. Couldn't he just accept a compliment for once?

"How about this: remember last year when you performed Push It in front of the whole school? Before I joined glee club and it was just you, Finchel, Aretha, Wheels, and Stutter?"

Kurt nodded. It was easily one of the most humiliating moments of his life. He'd been against the idea of a sex number but, just like this week with the Warblers, he'd gone along with it because once Rachel or Blaine had set their mind to something, nothing could change it.

"Yes I remember although I'd like not to, performing that number was so embarrassing. What about it?"

"Where you trying during that number?" Santana asked.

Kurt shrugged. "No, I mean I was trying to sing but not be sexy. I was kind of too scared about performing in front of hostile jocks. Why?"

"Well, how do I say this?" Santana said sarcastically, tapping her pointer finger on her chin in exaggerated thought, "You made me want to turn straight and force you to go straight."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Come on, be serious."

"I'm dead serious, boy. You better believe me. That whole number was super hot, you guys were all pretty much having sex with each other on stage."

"So why weren't you drooling over the over guys?" Kurt asked.

"Because Finn is a huge man-child and frankly Wheels just doesn't do it for me." Santana looked thoughtful for a moment. "Although being with him could open a door for a whole new world of hot, kinky wheelchair sex."

Kurt rolled his eyes. How could this girl want an honest relationship when she still imagined having sex with everything that moved.

Santana still seemed to be envisioning her and Artie together so Kurt snapped in front of his screen to snap her out of her daze.

"Stop it! No dirty thoughts!" he said as if scolding a dog. "You're supposed to be in love with Brittany, remember?"

Santana faked sheepishness. She knew she was in love with Brittany but plenty of people at least thought about other people and if they say they don't think about other people, they're lying.

"Is that all, are we through with our little Kurt pep talk so I can get back to my story?"

Kurt nodded and let Santana continue her tale of learning about sex- "As if I didn't know enough about it already."- from possibly the most awesome substitute teacher of all time which Kurt was soon to point out they only knew because Kurt had gotten her to sub for Mr. Schue.

The next day Santana was over at Kurt's house after school. They were both quieter than usual for their own reasons. Kurt was still pissed about his failed "sexy lessons" with Blaine and Santana was thinking about her long, thoughtful conversation with Brittany and Miss Holiday.

_It was good we finally thought about our relationship,_ Santana thought, biting into a chocolate chip cookie. They were delicious as was everything Kurt baked.

The thing was that Kurt could be the poster child for stress bakers everywhere if he wanted to. While Santana still hadn't gotten him to fess up about what was bugging him, she defiantly wasn't complaining about the sudden avalanche of baked goods that were covering every kitchen surface in the Hudmel household. It was a miracle Burt didn't have another heart attack. Apparently when Burt had his heart attack, Kurt was convinced that it was his baking and stopped for awhile. However, this was also during the time when Kurt's bullying was getting worse and if he'd ever needed an activity to relieve him of stress, it was then. So Kurt practically exploded with baking on the day Karofsky had threatened to kill him. Santana admits that she doesn't remember much of that day, but the memories that have stayed with her are the reason she now calls this day: "The Day I Decided to Never Eat Sugar Cookies Again In My Life."

The oven's timer went off and Kurt came rushing back into the kitchen, grabbing a hot pad and taking some muffins out of the oven. Santana groaned, she hadn't realized he'd made a whole other batch of something.

"What did you make now?" Santana said, hopping off of the one counter that wasn't occupied by sugary treats.

"Pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips," he said, poking one of the muffins to make sure it wouldn't collapse as pumpkin sometimes did that when undercooked. "I used organic pumpkin and sugar free chocolate chips of course."

Santana rolled her eyes. Kurt always added healthy things to his food to make himself feel better and to make sure his dad could still indulge in something tasty without risking his health.

"Okay, what's up with you? You've been freaking out," she said, gesturing to the mountains of food around her.

"I resent the implication that something's out of sorts with me," he said. "I happened to simply be in a baking mood."

Santana rolled her eyes. "You forget that I know you. I know that when you feel scared you always start talking in your superior voice so you can beat up whatever jock is scaring you without even laying a finger on him. I also know that no one has ever done this much baking and only been in a baking mood."

Santana picking up another cookie, popped it in her mouth and continued speaking with her mouth full, much to Kurt's disgust.

"So what's eating you, pun intended. Sorry not sorry," she said, climbing back up onto her counter space.

Kurt rolled his eyes at her ridiculous humor, but he also knew how dead serious she was.

"I know we talked yesterday about, you know..." Kurt trailed off.

Santana nodded.

"Well, Blaine offered to help me work on being sexy. He was over here and it was super awkward and I know you told me not to, but I tried. He tried to get me to talk about sex, I said something about Broadway shows and porn...I eventually told him to leave."

Santana didn't hear most of what her friend said. In fact after the first sentence, the whole thing became rather hazy.

"Hobbit did what?" she screeched, leaping of of the counter again.

Kurt stared at her in shock. He was backed up against a wall and only had the whisk he was holding for protection. "He offered to-"

"Yes, I know, I heard you the first time," she said, "I just can't believe he would do that to you. That's so uncalled for and even worse you confessed your feelings to him, what, a few weeks ago? He has some nerve."

Santana stomped out of the kitchen, picking up her Cheerio's letterman jacket from where it had been slung over the back of the living room couch. She was muttering what swear words in Spanish and Kurt also caught some phrases like "kill little man" and "what does he see in him anyways".

Kurt raced ahead and stopped Santana at the front door.

"That really won't be necessary Tana. I get what he did was wrong but I don't want you in trouble. It's not worth it."

Santana huffed and rolled her eyes which were still ablaze with anger. "You need to stop letting him walk all over you. You deserve better than that."

Kurt shook his head sadly. "Everyone says that but what if it isn't true?" Kurt asked and Santana was sure her heart broke, "I just don't think I believe that anymore, with anything. When the Warblers turned me down for the solo at sectionals, what did people say? 'You're better than them Kurt. They just need to wake up and smell the talent.' That's just what people say when they don't want people to do something stupid and hurt themselves or anything like that."

Santana held his shoulders and made him look her in the eyes. "You need to know that I would never lie to you like that. You are better than this cowtown. You're just as talented as Berry and even more likable so I'm sure people would hire you over her for that."

Kurt chuckled softly. "You're right, I'm sorry. That goes for you too you know. You can be anything Santana Lopez."

The rest of the night consisted of a movie marathon and making a large dent in Kurt's cookie kingdom. While Kurt slept next to her, Santana devised a plan and quickly grabbed Kurt's laptop off his desk.

Blaine sat on his bed, scrolling through Wes's ideas for possible regionals solos for him when his computer alerted him of one new email.

**From: ****snix **

** Allow me to make one thing clear hobbit, Kurt is my best friend. You break his heart, I'll break your face and possibly cut off some very important other body parts.**

** Have a good day!**

**A/N: I know, I know I leave you for over 3 months and all I have to give is **_**that.**_** Basically I think Kurt is a sexy beast, hate Blaine, and have a deep, burning Kurtana obsession.**


End file.
